Christine Gipple, Author at Life Coaching by Christine Gipple

In Honor of Earth 🌎 Day – 10 Tips to Protect our Planet + A MUST SEE Documentary! :-) ✨

In honor of Earth day, I’m sharing this MUST SEE documentary that’s currently streaming on Apple TV.

It’s called, “ The Year the Earth Changed. ” It’s a nature film from 2021 about the COVID-19 pandemic and its impact on nature that resulted.

I had several takeaways but won’t spoil it for you by sharing them all.

My biggest takeaways were:

It only took a few weeks for our waters to become cleaner! Weeks!
Watching a 30-year old man see the Himalayan mountains for the first time in his life (previously, they were hidden by smog and pollution).
Witnessing our wildlife regenerate itself and be able to protect their young without our incessant human interference.
Finally, I could see how easily we could contribute to the protection and preservation of our planet if each one of us made small, consistent changes in our lives.

Want some ideas that you can do?

Here’s ten (10) things we’ve implemented in our family to reduce our carbon footprint. Perhaps some might speak to you!

At least once a week, we have a no-car day.
We no longer buy plastic water bottles. Instead, each of our family members has a refillable water bottle that we use over and over.
We recycle every piece of plastic, metal, glass, and paper that comes into our home.
We won’t purchase anything that is packed in styrofoam at the grocery store (since it can’t break down).
We say no 🙅‍♀️ to plastic straws and plastic utensils when offered for takeout food. Instead, we use metal or paper straws. We keep regular silverware (fork/knife/spoon) and metal straws in a bag in the glove box of our cars to use if needed – one utensil for each member of our family. Then if we use them, we clean them and replace them back in the car.
We don’t use plastic bags. Even though NJ has banned the use of plastic bags, some stores still use them. And some items like bread and other groceries are packed in plastic bags. So, we simply recycle everything.
We take advantage of our county’s recycling events ♻️ where we can safely discard electronics and other hazardous materials. (Ie., for electronics – computers, phone cords, strings of lights, extension cords, space heaters, fans, appliances, etc.). Plus, there are hazardous waste collection events for things like medicines, paints, oils, chemicals, cleaning supplies, and other poisonous things.
We compost. We not only keep excess out of our landfills, but we get rich, beautiful soil to use every season, for free!
Finally, we don’t use chemicals or pesticides on our property. This keeps chemicals from spilling into the drains, which then go into our waterways and eventually into us. 🤒
We use sites like “Trash-Nothing” which allow us to offer items to others for free and keep our unwanted items out of our landfills. (Trash Nothing used to be called “Freecycle.”)

What changes might you implement, or have you already implemented to create more sustainable living? Please hit reply and share them with me. The more we share the cleaner we make our planet.

And, I believe, the healthier we’ll all be as a result!

Again, click the link below to watch the trailer of “The Year the Earth Changed.”

I hope you’ll decide to watch the entire thing. It’s a 48 minute watch.

Enjoy!

Watch the Trailer here

xo

Chris

By Christine Gipple|2023-04-22T17:58:49-04:00April 22nd, 2023|Uncategorized|0 Comments

How to Build Trust and Intimacy In Relationships – A TED Talk to Share

I heard this TED talk with Louise Evans a while back, and when it came to me a 2^nd time, I had to share it with you!

This reminded me of an exercise from nonviolent communication (NVC for short), called, “The Four Ears.”

Marshall Rosenberg, the founder of NVC, says we have four options for receiving negative messages, and they are:

We judge ourselves.
We judge others.
We empathize with ourselves.
We empathize with others.

Our response largely depends on how we hear and interpret these messages.

In other words, our response will depend on what we’re making the situation mean – about ourselves, others, or the world.

So, depending on how we interpret something, we potentially create calm or chaos.

It’s our choice. But it’s often an unconscious one.

Louise says, “in every moment, we’re making choices about our behaviors that we’re bringing into the world.” And, she shares a step we can take before reacting that supports us in making those choices consciously.

In this TED Talk of “The 5 Chairs”, Louise calls this step, WAIT. It’s the transition step between judgment and empathy where she invites us to ask ourselves, “What Am I Thinking?”, before we react.

How many times has something happened and we immediately go to judgment, and we react, based on our own perception of what we just heard or saw?

And, how many times is our perception off, and we jump to a conclusion that isn’t even true?

This is the power of the Pause.

I love how she reminds herself to hang on for a second, noting that she needs more data because she doesn’t have all the puzzle pieces yet. She consciously decides to check the meaning making in her head against what’s really in front of her.

When we pause here, we allow ourselves to consider, just for that brief moment, what else might be going on, besides the story we’re telling ourselves.

Pausing gives us space to mindfully choose our next step.
Pausing gives us time to carefully respond, instead of instantly react.
Pausing gives us clarity because we’re checking in with our own internal dialogue.

If you find that you’re reacting more than you’d like in your relationships, whether it’s at home, at work, in your family dynamics, with your partner or children, you’re not alone.

See if you can integrate WAIT before reacting.

Ask yourself what you are thinking.

Ask yourself what you’re making this situation mean, and if it’s even true.

See if you need more information before you respond.

And then, watch your relationships begin to shift.

Because they will shift!

When you Pause to ask yourself what you are thinking, what you are making this mean, and what story you’re telling yourself, you then have the opportunity to check it out with the other person to see if any of that was even true.

If you’re feeling confused and needing clarity around your best next move, here’s a few bonus questions to support you in seeing if your actions are aligned with your values:

What’s important here?
What matters most to me?
What do I want?
What do I need?

Connecting to our needs and values FIRST allows us to make conscious choices that will bring us closer to our desires.

Drop me a line. I’d love to know how this impacts you!

Wishing you love and connection,

Chris

P.S. I also loved the cost of “being right” (8m22 into video). See if you can relate. I know I could see a previous version of myself where my detail oriented perfectionist ran the show. 😉

By Christine Gipple|2023-02-24T23:57:09-05:00February 24th, 2023|Uncategorized|0 Comments

Give yourself permission for Reciprocity

Give yourself permission for reciprocity. Make choices for your own self-preservation and self-care.

This time of year, reciprocity often takes a back seat. With so many people in need, it may seem selfish not to give – of our time, our money, our efforts, our service, etc.

Just for a moment, however, let’s put aside the needs of others, and turn the focus onto you.

I want you to think about what you long for in your day-to-day life. What’s missing in your relationships? Where are you settling for less than what you want, and less than what you know you deserve? Where are you hiding parts of yourself to be accepted, or loved, or just to keep the status quo?

In this moment, think about what “Reciprocity” means to you.

For context:

I’m talking about reciprocity in relationships in this post. Relationships that are physically and mentally capable of meeting you where you are, and who have no disabilities prohibiting them from being in a conscious and mindful partnership with you.
I’m not talking about reciprocity in terms of social responsibility or referring to people that are reliant on you, or who are literally incapable of offering mutuality in return

Here’s my definition of reciprocity:

Reciprocity means both parties choose to be in connection, for mutual benefit, and they agree to the “terms” of the relationship. They’re making a conscious choice to be there and to show up as equal contributors – whether that’s a friend, a partner, a parent, or your adult children. They will offer respect, trust, integrity and express themselves in the most authentic version of themselves that they can, while also embodying compassion and empathy – for themselves and the other.

This is what I give, and what I want in relationship. So, I have an expectation that I can be real, honest, and direct – even emotionally messy -and I’ll be received. Because that’s our agreement.

I’m no longer willing to accept relationships that are based on anything less than that.

On Marriage…

My husband and I are coming up on 30 years in March. And we’ve had a rocky road. Feels like 6 marriages within our 3-decade relationship because with each version of our marriage, we’ve come to a deeper level of understanding within ourselves and with each other.
In essence, as we up-leveled, the version of our relationship that we had up to that point was extinguished and we began again.

On friendship…

Another relationship that taught me true reciprocity is that of my very best friend on the planet, Lisa. Lisa and I have known each other since we were babies. Literally. Over the years, we had one clip of time where we weren’t in contact. I suppose we needed that space to do our own work to grow and heal and understand ourselves better. We needed to have our own life experiences so we could return stronger, more connected, and more aligned.
When we reunited, we mutually agreed that we could show up as we were. Even if that meant it was messy, or not all put together.
It meant raw, real, and completely uncensored. Brutally honest and authentic. But also, kind, compassionate and empathetic. Even if it wasn’t what we wanted to hear. We agreed to say what the other needed to hear.

My marriage and this friendship are what reciprocity means to me. Sometimes one person may have something come up in their lives where they need a little more support. But it’s always balanced out with equal time being given to each other throughout the relationship.

I’m reminded of “Chosen Family.”

We can’t choose the family we’re born into. But we can choose the family that brings out the best in us, that supports us, and that allows us to be ourselves.

I found this instagram post this morning by elephantjournal that expands on this.

On Self-worth and burnout…

Reciprocity didn’t used to be so important to me. My worth used to be measured by how much I gave to others – at work, at home, with volunteering, and in my family and extended family – pretty much everywhere.
There’s a saying – “How we do one thing is how we do everything.” And I saw my pattern to run full steam ahead with my selfless acts in multiple areas. I took responsibility for situations that weren’t mine to begin with.
Then I burned out. I noticed certain relationships were tipping too far in one direction. I allowed my outdated core belief of “I don’t matter” to run the show. That belief had me take the backseat to my life, letting others get their needs met before me, often instead of me, and letting others take up space, which left me feeling isolated, empty, and resentful.

Reciprocity is NOT:

Over-giving and feeling resentment
Giving what we think we “should” (a word I’ve deleted from my vocabulary because “should” infers obligation, guilt and “have to” leaving us with zero choice)
Giving because it’s what’s always been done.

On boundaries…

I’m no longer willing to tolerate relationships that aren’t reciprocal. Where there’s only take and no give.
I’m no longer willing to be the only one to make the effort to repair any disconnect that may have happened, when in the end, the relationship was not reciprocal to begin with.

Marshall Rosenberg, the founder of nonviolent communication, talks about giving in the context of willingness in his poem, “The Hungry Duck.” This poem basically says that we want to give from a place of willingness, like that of a child feeding a hungry duck. Because when we’re giving from any other place (obligation, have-to, resentment), we and others will pay a price.

So, circling back to the first questions I asked.

What’s missing in your relationship(s)?
Where are you allowing yourself to settle for less than what you want?
Where are you settling for less than you deserve?
Where are you hiding parts of yourself to be loved, accepted or to keep the status quo?

And I’ll add, what’s it going to take for you to put your own needs and self-care on your list?

Wishing you the courage and strength to no longer settle, no longer accept the unacceptable, and to bring yourself into alignment with your most authentic self that honors your needs, your boundaries and your own self-care.

With love,

Chris

By Christine Gipple|2022-11-25T15:59:05-05:00November 25th, 2022|Uncategorized|0 Comments

Fall into Connection – with YOURSELF! Two Upcoming Classes

Fall is my favorite season ever – I LOVE this time of year! Even though Fall is what has kept me in Jersey, Winter makes me want to leave. But, we’re not there just yet…

I took a few pictures of the fall foliage today, so I’m sharing here. No filter. Just my phone. I breathe easier just looking at these!

Fall invites us to slow down and pay attention to our inner nudges. It invites us to listen to those quiet whispers before they turn to screams.

If you have a self-reflection or self-connection practice, you know what I mean. When we slow down enough, we can actually hear what matters to us.

So, I thought I’d also share a couple intimate online events that I’ll be doing in the next few weeks – both of which foster deeper self-connection. ♥

The first event is happening THIS Friday, October 28th, (2022) from 1pm-3:30pm ET. A small group of us (around 15-20 people max) will play connecting games to support us in saying what we mean. We’ll also show you how to get to the heart of what matters, and how to avoid circular conversations that can send us over our edge. You can learn more and register for the GROK party event here.

Past participants have found these parties extremely connecting and they keep coming back for more!

Which brings me to the second event – The “After GROK party”, taking place on Thursday, Nov 10th (2022) from 11am-12pm ET Some of you have asked, “what comes next?” after attending the initial GROK party, and this is it! You can learn more and register for the After Grok Party here.
The After Grok Party is likely to be a smaller, more intimate group.
(**Note**To attend the After Grok Party, please make sure you’ve either attended a GROK party before, or that you have a working knowledge of nonviolent communication before registering for the event.)
In both events, you’ll be supported in a safe environment to receive/give empathy and to experience connection and fun!
The Zoom link will be provided once you register.

You’ll want to have GROK cards available for our call. While not mandatory, having the physical cards creates more ease in following along. If you need cards and you’re local to me, please email me (I have some on hand). Otherwise, this link will connect you directly with Claire Schwartz who will get them shipped out to you!

Action Challenge:

Drop me a line and share what’s ONE thing you’re eager to let go of in 2022, and what’s ONE thing you’re excited to bring in for 2023? These can be people, things, beliefs, habits, routines, etc. It’s YOUR choice. Sometimes the act of writing them down or sharing them with someone assists in making them happen, so do share!

By Christine Gipple|2022-10-26T00:09:32-04:00October 25th, 2022|Uncategorized|0 Comments

Change Your Closet, Change Your Life. A TEDx Talk to Share

I’m so excited to share this TEDx talk I found on YouTube: Change Your Closet, Change Your Life.

In the video below, Gillian Dunn talks about her own wake-up call when she went into her closet to get a candle that she was saving for a special occasion, only to find a big ball of blue wax inside the box. The candle had done exactly what it was supposed to do – melt – but it did it without her. This spurred an inner exploration that changed her life.

This video had me reflecting on how we live our lives in our own self-imposed chains.

These chains show up as limiting beliefs, excuses, fear, worry and doubt. These chains stop us from living the life we say we want. We find ourselves saying, “I’ll do it when…. ____.” and “Someday I’ll …____. Fill in your blank. We need to consciously shift our mindset and behaviors if we want to truly change.

Change is messy, and not always easy.

The next morning after watching the video, I leapt out of bed to start my day. During the elimination process, my 15-year-old daughter asked me why she’d never seen all these ‘fashionable’ things! She started trying them on, claiming them for her own. 😉 In the end, I donated two large bags to my favorite non-profit, and it was just the catapult I needed to re-fuel my desire to live with less.

Here’s what I want you to do: Take the next 15 minutes (and 37 seconds) to watch this Video, and then come back and answer this question:

What’s one thing you’re willing to commit to this week to allow yourself to step into the life you want to live?

Maybe you’re willing to….

Have that ‘hard’ conversation that’s been lurking over you.
Clear your closet of items that don’t fit (to make room for things that do).
Use your “good dishes” or wear your “nice clothes.”
Donate your excess belongings to someone in need.
Express your needs to someone in a loving, compassionate way.
Set a boundary with yourself around what you’ll no longer tolerate.

No more putting things off until “Someday.”

Life is far too short to leave our most cherished belongings tucked away in a box, or our dreams hidden in the back of our minds.

Looking for a great cause to donate to? Here’s a non-profit I LOVE: Katelyn started this non-profit when she was just 12 years old after being on the receiving end of an outpouring of support when her family needed it. Now, more than a decade later, The Angels Community Outreach supports thousands. They’re located in Pitman NJ, you can contact them here.

By Christine Gipple|2022-01-30T21:44:37-05:00January 30th, 2022|Uncategorized|2 Comments

3 Tips to Keep Your Boundaries in Check

Setting Boundaries can be uncomfortable. But not setting them can create havoc.

Hold onto your Boundaries because 2022 is Yang Tiger Water Energy!

My friend, Karen Alber Carrasco, wrote this great article and I had to share it! It’s called, 2022 Tiger Wave: Surfing with the Yang Water Tiger. What struck me was the importance of keeping our boundaries in place, especially after the past two years of up-leveling our lives as we created, and re-created, ourselves to be in alignment with our values.

The past two years were ruled by the metal element, and metal represents details, the fine print, analysis of what is working, and what isn’t. Think of really getting inside the box and critiquing every detail. That requires metal energy.

This year’s element is water. And with water, things can become dark and murky, confusing, or uncertain. Think about decisions you made when you weren’t clear, when your choices weren’t an absolute yes. I imagine those particular choices might have brought about an unwanted result. Yes?

That’s why being clear on our boundaries becomes critical. The thing is, a lot of us may not even know what our boundaries are, let alone being able to hold them in place.

3 Tips to Keep Your Boundaries In Check:

First, Have a self-honoring practice or ritual in place – this is for you and only you. Whether it’s meditating, writing, exercising, knitting, taking a hot bath once a week, etc. Find what connects you to you.
- When you take the time to self-connect, your choices will be in alignment with what feels true and right for you, in each moment.
Second, before making a choice – any choice – check in with yourself and ask yourself these questions:
- What do I want?
- What do I need?
- How do I feel?
- What do I think?
- Because when we are coming from a place of knowing how we feel, and what we need, we are more likely to have our needs met, which allows us to make clear requests of someone else. Its when we haven’t taken the time to figure out what we want and need that things get murky.
- And this year’s Yang Tiger Water energy will be powerful and passionate, and has the potential to uproot us if we’re not firmly planted in our own boundary foundation.
Third, and this might be hard to hear, but I’m going to invite you to embrace being ‘selfish.’ I know selfish gets a bad wrap because of old programming of what not to be. However, when we put everyone else’s needs before our own, we swing to the other side of the pendulum to self-less, and end up feeling obligated and resentful. This reminds me of Marshall Rosenberg’s poem, The Hungry Duck, where the intention is strive to give from a place of willingness, vs. obligation.

As the first month of 2022 is almost behind us, and this new water energy is upon us, I encourage you to pay attention to your needs, your wants, your desires, and make sure you feet are planted firmly in your own personal boundaries.

Have a question or comment? Reach out to me here.

You can find upcoming events here. There are only a few spots left for the Feb 5th Grok Party, where we play games with Grok Cards to connect more deeply to our own emotions and needs. And, registration for my group boundary coaching program will be opening soon. 🙂

Wishing you clarity and courage to choose YOU!

Love,
Chris

If you know of someone that would appreciate this newsletter, please share it with them. 🙂

By Christine Gipple|2022-01-28T13:52:12-05:00January 28th, 2022|Uncategorized|0 Comments

Joyous Outrage – Embracing Peaceful Intolerance

Joyous Outrage – not words that seem to go together, right? Stay with me…

Last night I pulled an oracle card, and my card was, “Power of Joy. ” The card invited me to consider that when we come from a place of joy, we connect to our purpose. Even though I believe this, I found myself questioning if embracing joy was the wisest choice when we’re living with so much injustice and fear in our world right now.

In the wake of covid19, George Floyd’s murder, and a multitude of other events, I was feeling challenged to embrace joy in the face of horrific injustices. Then I realized choosing joy is the wisest choice. The events of our world are exactly why we need to stay connected to what brings us joy.

In the saying, “time flies when you’re having fun”, we’re reminded how we wish we could stop the clock, press pause, and savor the moment, right? Here’s a few of my moments of joy…

…when I held my sleeping infant daughter in my arms and digitally recorded her tiny sounds as she breathed.
…the night I pulled my wet 3-yr old out of the tub and dressed her faster than a Ninja because Santa was coming on the fire truck outside. Her high pitched squeals of excitement literally made me cry.
…and then the simple beauty of seeing flowers in a vase I love, hearing the birds chirp, witnessing children play.

Just for a moment here, close your eyes and think about what brings you true joy. Ok, got it? Now, hold onto that for a minute.

George Floyd’s death has both, brought our nation together, and illuminated where we’re still grossly divided. With our peaceful protestors there are also opportunistic looters. One blurs into the other as our nation splits into what’s right, what’s wrong, as we forget the entire point of the peaceful protestors. I stand with the protestors. I stand up for Peaceful Intolerance. I stand for claiming justice and joy for ALL humans.

Have the hard conversations. Act on the social injustices you witness. As history continues to repeat itself, I’ve felt ashamed to be a white woman when I see the inequities around me. George Floyd death is not an isolated incident; it’s a systemic reminder of what needs to change. Our enraged country, and our world is screaming, “Enough!”

ENOUGH! Enough to the injustice. Enough to the divide. Enough to rights for some, and not for others.

What can we do if we’re not able to physically protest? How can we bring the change we want to see? That’s what I’ve been sitting with. What can I actually do?

As trite as it sounds, I can embrace joy. Even in my outrage. I can be joyously outraged as I’m reminded all lives matter. Black lives matter. Trans lives matter. Children’s voices matter. Elderly voices matter. And right now more than ever, we need to stand in solidarity that #Black Lives Matter.

Hitler divided us. Hitler decided who was worthy to live based on the color of their skin, the size or shape of their head, or the name someone had. And now our leader is dividing us with those same criteria. I don’t know what kind of pain our president is in, but I do know we cannot afford to let his wounds lead this country anymore.

We need empathy, not tweets.

Action Challenge:

Here’s some steps I’m taking as I’m not able to physically protest right now. Maybe this will spark some ideas for you, too.

Create a Sign to display in your window or on your lawn that promotes Peace, Social Justice, that supports equality for all lives, particularly those whose lives are marginalized in our society.
Join (or create) a group to embrace and embody Anti-Racism and Social Justice as you move into activism around how to end the divide.
Join the Peaceful Protestors and be Peacefully Intolerant
Read books to educate yourself on racism, especially if you’re white. Ibram X. Kendi, How to be an Anti-Racist, is a great place to start, as well as Non-Violent Communication by Marshall Rosenberg.
Write to your state’s leaders, your governors, your congressman, or even to The White House.
Sign a variety of petitions honoring the #BlackLivesMatter movement.
Watch the film Just Mercy.
Support Owners of Black Owned Bookstores.

Back to joy. If it’s true that our joy leads to our purpose, then I want to focus on what brings me joy. Beauty. Nature. Space. Writing. My daughter. Yoga. Practicing compassion. Empathy. Deep Listening. Connection. Health. As I type this, here’s my view, and it brings me joy.

What brings you joy? What connects you to you? When I invited you to close your eyes earlier, what joyful memories sparked in you? Do more of that! I hope you’ll join me in using *YOUR* voice, to step into what matters most to you.

I hope you’ll be Joyously Outraged and Peacefully Intolerant of what you’ll no longer accept when you see injustices. Here’s a quote that reminds us that an injustice anywhere is injustice everywhere.

“Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter.” Martin Luther King, Jr.

I’ll be launching an online series on Compassion, Listening and Empathy, a way to Connect You to You. If you’re not already in my community and want to be notified of upcoming workshops, talks or events, join my community here.

I’m grateful to have you as part of my tribe. Until we meet again…

~Chris

By Christine Gipple|2020-06-07T16:43:00-04:00June 7th, 2020|Uncategorized|0 Comments

About Christine Gipple

In Honor of Earth 🌎 Day – 10 Tips to Protect our Planet + A MUST SEE Documentary! :-) ✨

Want some ideas that you can do?

Here’s ten (10) things we’ve implemented in our family to reduce our carbon footprint. Perhaps some might speak to you!

How to Build Trust and Intimacy In Relationships – A TED Talk to Share

Give yourself permission for Reciprocity

Fall into Connection – with YOURSELF! Two Upcoming Classes

Change Your Closet, Change Your Life. A TEDx Talk to Share

I’m so excited to share this TEDx talk I found on YouTube: Change Your Closet, Change Your Life.

3 Tips to Keep Your Boundaries in Check

Joyous Outrage – Embracing Peaceful Intolerance