Mental Health + DEEP Self-Care

Not gonna lie- I’ve been struggling to find something “uplifting” to share.  I see ICE abductions from men in plain clothes, who refuse to identify themselves, who drive unmarked vehicles, and who are using what I consider to be unnecessary force in these abductions. Many of these human beings being abducted are in the process of becoming U.S. citizens and I cannot get the poem, “First They Came“ out of my mind.

The reality is, I’m sad and angry. So, I must focus even more intently on my well-being and self-care.

Because here’s what I know: If we want to have capacity to help others, our self-care is critical. Having capacity (and tolerance) for others requires us to take excellent care of ourselves. It’s not indulgent. It’s necessary.

Below are a few things I’ve streamed that I found helpful.  Some gave me hope; some reminded me to take better care of myself; and others reminded me to stand up for what is moral, ethical, and humane – even if I’m scared.

  1. Now through June 30th, 2025, PBS is streaming the play, Next to Normal, for free. This is a play that was done on London’s West End. It focuses on mental health, grief, and depicts the impact of grief that’s not addressed.
  2. This talk left me feeling hopeful and inspired: Barack Obama on June 17th, 2025 at The Connecticut Forum in Hartford, CT. (68 mins long and worth every second of your time!)
  3. Here’s a music video of a song I LOVE – The Line – by Twenty One Pilots. This reminds me that all of our bodies are on the line right now.
  4. This YouTube channel – The Enemies Project – by renowned Peacemaker, Larry Rosen, helps enemies find the human in each other. ♥
  5. Lastly, this music video – Take Me To Church – by Hozier is a difficult reminder that history is once again repeating itself. Reminds me of the quote that Injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere (MLK).

While there’s an intense amount of fear, sadness, pain, and hate being shown across the medias, there’s also equal amounts of hope, joy, celebration, and love that is countering. I’m not giving up. And in fact, I’m anchoring more deeply to what’s important, each and every day.

Before you leave, click on one (or all) of the links above and let yourself be moved. Whatever you choose, start with you. Let your choices nourish you. Maybe you want to create your own backyard haven, or your in-home sanctuary, or simply hug your family a little tighter. Focus on what matters to you.

Take a breath. Then take the action that creates the world YOU want to live in – one heart, mind, and home at a time.

PS – Want to get in touch? Just reply here. ♥♥

In peace and love,

By |2025-06-26T01:46:31-04:00June 26th, 2025|Uncategorized|0 Comments
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Crave Less (when the default is to accumulate more)

The older I get, the more space I crave.

Space to think, to be, to breathe, to process, to simply exist.

Yet, it’s a theme for me to continually hear myself say, “I want less.” “I need less.” Still.

My old pattern is to do more, achieve more, and to move at lightning speed. Even if my body doesn’t move at lightning speed, my mind typically does. I plan, arrange, organize, and categorize ideas and tasks in my mind before I even get out of bed!

Craving less means I consciously choose less clutter around me, less food in my body, less commitments in my calendar, and less (aka no) toxicity in relationships. In exchange, I’m more connected to what matters most, and I make mindful choices about what I DO want.

Back in the 90’s, my husband and I rented our first vacation spot in the Pocono Mountains: a raised rancher with a sun-room, floor-to-ceiling windows framed in oak, ceramic floors, and completely surrounded by trees. I felt nurtured, connected to myself, and could have stayed there the entire time and been content.

Our “thing” back then was to shop. We had a saying that my husband would “Shop until I dropped.” Even then, I wasn’t into the consumption scene. But I did it because it was part of “our vacation” and something he loved to do. I also felt the instant gratification that came from our purchases, which was another theme for me. I’d run on the high that came from accumulation of things –in the moment. Only to realize later, it was an unconscious pattern to distract, rather than a conscious choice to consume.

Most of those purchases have since been sold at yard sales or given away. Though we did keep a few choice favorites, like this painting below. It depicts a woman sitting solo in meditation, silhouetted in gold, and still brings me peace and a reminder to ground from within.

As I started to crave less, I simultaneously wanted less inner-clutter. I spent a few decades exploring and befriending old beliefs, habits, and patterns that were ingrained in me from childhood. I replaced them with a mindset that focused on my core values and emotions and then took action on the things that I “said” I wanted.

Because here’s the thing. We might say we want something but then find ourselves taking actions that are in direct opposition to the things we say we want. A simple example might be saying you want to exercise, but you find yourself watching Netflix instead of creating space in your calendar to work out. This can happen because of unconscious programming that we’re not even aware of.

Here’s some benefits of Craving Less…

By craving less, I have more:

  • Space for experiences that fill me up, like yoga, meditation, learning, walking, being in nature, writing, reading and nurturing meaningful connections.
  • Flexibility to choose who I work with and when because I’ve eliminated the things that don’t work.
  • Gratitude for the things and relationships I do have vs. what focusing on what others have.
  • Capacity to live with less in some areas because of opportunities that arise in other areas.
  • Energy to keep going when things feel challenging because I’ve removed distractions (physical or emotional)!
  • Money in my pocket because I’m more deliberate and mindful of every choice I make.

And I’m acutely aware that these are choices I make from a place of privilege. Privilege and long, hard work to get to this point in my life.

I’m deeply impacted by my physical and emotional environment, so it’s critical to my mental well-being to keep things simple.

In essence, I need 3 things: Order, Ease and Simplicity. When I have order, I feel ease, and when I feel ease, my life feels simple. Simplicity brings me into balance and alignment with my truest self. The way for me to get here is to consistently assess and release what no longer serves as I evolve and grow.

This goes for my home, my car, my office, my relationships and my calendar. When I’m over-cluttered and over-committed, it’s challenging to make conscious choices because I don’t have clarity.

Most of the clients I work with are similar. Even if they say they love having a lot of stuff around them, or, “They are OK with the status quo”, there’s often a delightful exhale that happens when they remove the outdated excess in their life. This includes habits, patterns, beliefs, jobs, homes, and even relationships that no longer feel balanced or reciprocal.

Today is Feb 18th, 2025 and I’m curious, What are you craving today? What do you crave less of? What do you crave more of? Is there anything you told yourself you’d start or do, but you haven’t yet begun?

Before you click away, think about what it might feel like to achieve the thing you say you want? Imagine that you’ve started…how do you feel?

Just marinate in that feeling because that feeling just may be the catalyst that supports you to take the action you need to make it happen.

Interested in exploring this together, or just want to connect and say hello, simply reply here. I’d love to hear from you!

By |2025-02-18T22:40:24-05:00February 18th, 2025|Uncategorized|0 Comments
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Year in Review -13 Reflective Questions to set the tone for 2025

One of my family’s daily rituals is to check in by sharing our highs, lows, what we feel, what we need or want, and something we learned that day. This allows us to connect with each other, and brings awareness to what was most significant for us.

At the end of the year, we expand on that and reflect on what worked, what didn’t, what we want more of, less of, and what has to go in the coming year. This year, I added a few more prompts and I’m sharing those below.

The prompts are intended to invite deeper awareness so you can eliminate the things that drain you, and instead, focus on things you value most and what energizes you. You get to choose where you spend your precious time and energy. And only you can decide what stays and what goes.

On a call the other day, I was sharing this list of questions, and heard myself say that I wanted to think about what “gets my all” this year. Keep that in mind as you answer the questions about what gets your “all” this year.

There are 13 prompts to reflect on. I prefer handwriting my answers, but you can do whatever works for you. My daughter wrote her answers directly into her laptop when our family did this practice together on New Year’s Eve.

The practice:

  • Grab a journal and a pen. Make yourself a cup of tea, coffee, or whatever you prefer. Put on your favorite music and comfy clothes and settle in to spend some time with yourself.
  • If you want to invite others to do this with you, go for it!
  • My family and I do this silently together, (meaning we don’t talk while doing it) with music in the background. Once we’re all complete, we take one prompt at a time and share our answers aloud with each other. It’s voluntary and connecting. Often, when one of us shares, another has some kind of realization around something they haven’t thought of for themselves.
  • This practice invites deeper self-connection and reflection. It allows us to ponder where we’ve been, what we’ve accomplished, and allows us to touch on what we still long for. It also illuminates where we can be more conscious of how we’re using our precious time and energy as we move into the coming year. And within each moment.
  • Because all we really have is this moment.

The timing:

  • I like to do it until I feel complete, but if you prefer to use a timer, set it for 20-30 mins. If you want more time, just extend the timer. I enjoy flexibility so if I need more hot water and lemon, I get up to get it. Or if I must use the bathroom, I go. I also want space to explore what comes up in the moment without the pressure of time. So, for me, not using a timer allows me to stay more connected to my mind and body.

The prompts:

  1. What are your biggest celebrations this past year? What are you most excited about that you started, completed, or let go of?
  2. What’s your favorite memory from this past year? (can you connect to core values or needs it met?)
  3. What still feels unfinished, and what are you still craving?
  4. Where do you feel the weight of something you’re carrying — like anxiety, blame, the belief that you’re not good enough, obligations to others that you’ve outgrown, etc.?  Think about what keeps you up at night.
  5. Imagine you were ready to let the weight of what you’re carrying go. If you were ready, what’s the first thing you’d do?
  6. What is the biggest hurdle you overcame this year? Or put another way, What did you accomplish this year that you didn’t think you could? What parts of you did you need to access to achieve what you wanted? (tenacity, courage, intentionality, etc.).
  7. What’s the best decision you made this year?
  8. What’s the biggest lesson you learned?
  9. What happened that you didn’t expect?
  10. What was your biggest disappointment or mourning?
  11. What’s something you integrated into your daily life that has kept you sane for this past year?
  12. What’s your biggest gratitude?
  13. What’s something you’d like to “give your all” to in the coming year?

As we move into 2025, let’s take up space together. Let’s allow ourselves to dream, imagine, think bigger than we think we can achieve, and just do the things we think we can’t.

Courage is doing what I think I can’t.

When mind chatter stops you from taking action, or reminds you how you didn’t quite measure up, gently turn DOWN the voice of your inner critic. Instead, remember your answers to these prompts, and turn UP the voice of your wise inner self and follow the passions and desires that light you up.

Here’s to living our lives focused on what matters most – in 2025 and beyond.

Interested in exploring coaching or just getting connected, simply send an email here!

By |2025-02-18T13:09:06-05:00January 7th, 2025|Uncategorized|0 Comments
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What do we do now? Caring for Yourself Post-Election 2024

My eighteen-year-old daughter who’s away at college called me at 1:30 am during the counting of election ballots asking me, “Mom, what do we do now?” when she saw how the election was leaning.

Below is a portion of my responses, plus additional thoughts in the hopes they might help you care for yourself today and going forward.

“I’m devastated, too…

What we do now is keep going. Keep moving forward. Feel what we feel so we can acknowledge it, move through it, process it, and remember what matters most to us. Yesterday I felt hope, passion, and inspiration for moving forward collectively with compassion, empathy, kindness and strength. Today, the person I voted for won’t be at the helm of our country, yet that doesn’t erase my own desires and hopes. It doesn’t change the fact that half of the country DID vote to protect our democracy and personal choices. We’re all still here.

Alongside my own grief, I somehow feel more passionate, more inspired, and more motivated.  Because now my values are at stake at another level. Our freedoms are truly at stake because the person who’ll be in charge doesn’t value giving others personal choice, and instead wants to control and take away many of the choices for so many of us, especially women.

It’s easy for me to blame and get angry and think WTF is wrong with people, when I see the ludicrous inconsistencies in their logic. I go there. I’m baffled when I see people choosing hate, division, and exclusion.

Yet, that’s where we are. Half of our country has chosen a man I label as a dictator and a narcissist to lead our country, and the other half wants compassion, empathy, democracy and diplomacy. I put myself in the latter category where I want us to form strong allies and allegiances– within our country and beyond. I believe we are stronger together. And I believe our actions and choices impact everyone collectively. It’s like the butterfly effect.

And, this is life. We think it’s going one way, and the outcomes are often opposite of what we expect and predict.

So, we keep going. We keep making choices that bring us closer to the kind of world we want to live in. We focus on what matters to us and make sure every action we take contributes to that. It’s a big ask because it requires all of body/mind/spirit to be conscious and online.

And we track every election by being aware of every open seat, check out who’s running and research them. We vote to fill the seats for congress, house of representatives, senate, council, mayor, governor, and of course, president with people who are democracy advocates and protectors. Vs. people who only want to use their power and control to eradicate or shame anyone who disagrees with them.

I told her, we do what we did in this election – see who’s up in each seat, check them out, hear what they have to say, and cast our vote as it aligns with our values. And, if we’re inspired to do more, we do.

Regardless of who’s at the helm of our country, we get to use our voice and be loud. Look at Rosa Parks – she changed history forever with one choice. As of right now, we still have our 19th amendment.”

So, how do you care for yourself post election? What I’m doing is this: Feeling what I feel, recognizing that my own sadness is longing for a world where peace, inclusion, kindness, tolerance and acceptance is valued. Then I’m asking myself how I can be more conscious about the choices I make in each moment that contributes to those things. I’m asking myself what actions I can take to allow me to feel the way I want to feel, and to promote that feeling with others creating connection, and all the things I just named.

I choose to connect to what matters, and chose from a place of self-awareness around my emotions, instead of blindly reacting and spewing hate.

Wrapping us all with care, hope and love that we will move forward together, in a way that connects and supports each other. Like the roots of the trees that connect underneath, we’re all connected. May we work to create the world that we ALL want to live in, and feel safe to do so as we are.

By |2024-11-07T16:35:59-05:00November 6th, 2024|Uncategorized|0 Comments
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How to Nourish Your Needs + A 3-Minute Exercise to Explore

How to Nourish Your Needs | A 3-Minute Exercise to Explore

I was talking with a client today about the concept of being nourished by our needs. We discussed how often we neglect our fundamental needs, opting instead to push through life without truly fulfilling them.

If the word “needs” doesn’t resonate with you, feel free to substitute it with values, what matters to you, or what’s important in your life. Sometimes, people associate “needs” with being “needy,” but that’s not the type of need I’m referring to. I’m talking about our basic, primal requirements that are essential for living a fulfilling life.

Our conversation got me thinking. For the past year, I avoided making a decision because I didn’t feel ready to choose. I applied my own litmus test that I’ll invite you to explore as well. I asked myself: What needs are currently being nourished if I stay where I am? And, conversely, what needs could be nourished if I choose to make a change?

Even though things are “fine” and nothing is drastically “wrong”, I’ve been consistently curious to explore what lies beyond if I simply let go and trust.

Connecting to Needs Supports Conscious Choice.

One thing that’s helped me stay connected to what matters is my long time practice of Nonviolent Communication (NVC). In our NVC family, we share the principle that all of our needs matter equally — mine, my husband’s, and our daughter’s. And, even when it’s not possible to meet everyone’s needs in the moment, we can choose to hold them with care and to hear them.

Showing up in this way requires energy, time, presence, and deep empathy — for myself and others. This hasn’t always been the easiest path, but it’s kept us aligned with our values for authenticity, connection, choice, and mattering. And it continues to foster a home filled with rich dialogue and mutual understanding rather than with punishments or rewards.

These approaches allowed me to make a decision with detachment, love, and grace, while appreciating my growth in these experiences. They also helped me to connect with my needs for expansion, space, and deeper self-care as I enter into a new chapter of my life. With my daughter heading off to college after being home-schooled for most of her 18 years, my own transition feels intense.

While balancing family commitments, healing from surgery(s), and building my coaching practice, I’ve learned to embrace uncertainty and take each step forward with intention.

You might not have your next steps mapped out, and that’s okay. What you can do is ask yourself: What nourishes me right now? What needs are fulfilled when I prioritize that? Then, make choices that align with those insights, step by step.

Here’s a 3-Minute Self-Reflection Exercise for You:

  1. Get comfortable where you are sitting.
  2. Close your eyes.
  3. Think about a situation you want to change, or a decision you want to make. (About a job, a relationship, a conversation you need to have, or a task you need to complete etc).
  4. Notice how your body feels as you reflect on this situation. Are you tense? Is your breath shallow? Or do you feel open and receptive?
  5. Without judgment, observe these sensations. They can guide you toward understanding what truly matters to you in this situation.
  6. Identify the needs underlying these feelings. Do you crave ease, relief, or closure?
  7. Consider what actions could nourish these needs. Whether it’s creating space for yourself or initiating a conversation, what step can you take to move towards fulfillment?
  8. If you need help connecting to needs, download this needs list.

Ultimately, it’s our responsibility to meet our own needs and communicate our desires. While it’s wonderful when others intuitively understand and meet our needs, that’s not always the reality.

In conclusion, nurturing ourselves requires a deep connection with our own desires and boundaries. I long to create environmental impact – in my home, my community and on the global scale. That starts with me taking care of me first.  So, I ask you: How will you nourish yourself today? What needs will you fulfill by doing so?

If you resonate with this discussion and want to explore further, I invite you to reach out. Let’s continue this conversation and support each other on our journeys of self-nourishment and growth.

By |2024-06-27T00:38:38-04:00June 26th, 2024|Uncategorized|0 Comments
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What to do when doing the *Right Thing* feels hard

First, Happy Mother’s Day!

Second, I want to share a story from yesterday when it was really challenging to do the “right” thing. And at the end I’ll share my process for making choices in the moment when I feel challenged.

I don’t like to look at things from a right/wrong perspective. Instead, I choose to see things from a lens of what is aligned with my values and what isn’t.

Yesterday, it took all of my focus to reframe a situation – as it was happening – when a driver did something that was way out of integrity with my values. In the moment, I felt like I couldn’t do anything about it.

If you prefer to listen to this story, click below. It’s in 2 parts because I didn’t figure out how to combine them – yet! 😉

​Part 1 is here – 7min listen​.

​Part 2 is here – 5 min listen​.

We were leaving the college campus after my 18 yr old’s graduation. She entered the college at 15 as a high school student (proud homeschooling mama moment).

The parking lot looked like a Taylor Swift concert. When we finally got on the main road out, this black shiny Honda with blacked out windows was trying to get in front of my husband (husband was driving).

I don’t know about you, but I drive with the unspoken car etiquette that when in traffic, we let the car in front of us in, then we go, then the car behind us lets a car in and they go, etc…

Well, after my husband lets the car in front of us in, Mr. Honda wants to move in, too. So my husband moves up a tad in the still jammed lane.

But then Mr. Honda gets close enough to the car in front of him that he taps the bumper of it. Lightly. But still makes contact.

As soon as I see that, and my husband again starts to inch forward, I’m telling him to STOP because #1) it’s clear to me this guy doesn’t give a shit if he hits our car or not, and #2) it’s not worth getting into an altercation or accident over this. 

After much persuasion (and we had time to talk because, again, the lot was like a Swiftie concert), my husband lets the car in.

Mr Honda then rolls down his blacked out windows and makes direct eye contact with both of us in his mirror. He’s smiling, laughing and gesturing with his hands as if to say, “Haha – I got you. I got what I wanted” as his rap music blared from his souped up Honda Civic. That’s the nice version. He was probably saying something totally different!

What I didn’t know until we got home was that this punk (yes, I have total judgment) had rolled down his window and made faces and hand gestures to my husband while we were in the parking lot. But I didn’t see it because I was looking at my husband and trying to convince him to let it go, and let the guy in front of us. 

My husband left that part out, in the moment. And it’s probably a good thing he did, as I may have gotten out of my car and wanted to “educate” this young punk, and this story might’ve had a different ending.

Through his own rage, my husband was just trying to “do the right thing.”

This brought up a conversation around how difficult it can feel to do the *right thing* when others are acting in ways that are so out of alignment with our values.

We want to react. We want them to see how their actions aren’t showing respect or consideration for others. And tell them how their actions are impacting us. Or we want to scream at them to “Just just do the *right* fu#%ing thing!”

We realized it can seem like we don’t have another choice in these situations, or like we have to give up our values in order to do what’s right.

However, being “right” is subjective, so we have to find *our* right. We have to know what matters to us, and what feels important. And if we want any kind of connection with others, we want to find out what matters to them as well.

Questions to ask yourself when presented with a challenge like this:

  1. How would your 2-hours-later-version-of-you handle this?
  2. What matters most to you in this moment?

If something like this happens to you, I suggest you tune in to what matters to you in that moment. What would the 2-hours-later-version-of-you wish you’d done or said?

For me, I was concerned for our safety. I hadn’t seen the driver, so I didn’t know who was behind the wheel. Though, I’ll be honest, I expected it to be some young punk like it was (total judgment). But I was also thinking I don’t want the hassle of dealing with an “accident” if this turns into an altercation.

We’d just gotten our new car after replacing it with a previous new car that was totaled 6 days after we got it when a guy ran an intersection. I’m still dealing with the details of that.

So, I also valued my time and didn’t want to waste any more energy resulting from some kid that had zero respect for others.

My husband also wanted respect, and was feeling furious that he was having to step down and stay quiet because speaking up could cause a major issue. And I get it. He wanted to express his rage. So, on the way home I invited him to let the jackals run (In nonviolent communication we refer to our judgments as jackals since they’re judgy, critical and condemning).

My daughter, now frustrated with both of us for continuing our jackal show said, “Omg are you done yet?!”

But no, we weren’t. We were still processing and expressing.

I’ll end this by asking a question and offer a suggestion. Can you relate to this? 

What have you done in this kind of situation, and what do you wish you would have done? And what would the 2-hours-later-version-of-you have done if they would’ve connected to what was most important to them in that moment?

THAT’s the place I want to respond from. The place where I’m connecting to what matters most to me, so I know I’m in integrity with my values, with each choice I make.

Hope this helps you tune into what’s in alignment with you. It reminded me how I want to show up in the world. And it’s not like that little punk! Yes, I’m still in judgment. 😉

Would love to hear what comes up for you in reading or listening to this. Simply click reply and let me know!

PS- Photo credit is from johnhain.com

By |2024-05-12T16:35:39-04:00May 12th, 2024|Uncategorized|0 Comments
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Free Paper Shredding Event TODAY, 4/27/24

Declutter your home quickly by releasing paper files that need shredding!

If you live in the Camden County area of Southern, NJ, bring your shredding to Woodcrest Station at Patco between 9am and 2pm Eastern.

Act quickly as the event ends at 2pm today. 🙂

Here’s the details:

  • Where:  Woodcrest Patco Station, 200 Tindale Drive, Cherry Hill, NJ
  • When:   TODAY! Saturday, 4/27/24, from 9am to 2pm ET

Must show proof of residence that you live in Camden County.

You can find the printable flyer here!

Happy Decluttering!

 

By |2024-04-27T10:25:05-04:00April 27th, 2024|Uncategorized|0 Comments
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