Christine Gipple, Author at Life Coaching by Christine Gipple

Letting Go & Holding On

Why do we hold onto things?

What is it we hope to gain?

What are we so afraid of releasing, even if it’s things we’re not using?

It’s a loaded question, and one not easily answered because it’s subjective to each of us.

It’s subjective, and it’s also universal.

We all worry about needing things after we let go. We all can relate to feeling overwhelmed at the amount of responsibility on our plates, clutter in our homes and in our minds.

When it comes to letting go, we often resist. We think if we hold on, we retain a sense of control, because we know what it feels like to hold on. Letting go creates an unknown. It’s new territory.

Letting go means change.

Change is a form of surrender. We may not know what’s coming next. We may not know what to do after we release something, or someone. Where does it go? Where will it be used the most effectively? When can I get it there? Where does it go before I take it there or have it picked up? What happens after it’s gone? What’s next, and who am I without it?

All of these questions can lead to paralysis, so we do nothing. We hold on. We keep it “until we have more time” to figure out all the pieces before jumping in to something new.

I’ll tell you a secret. There’s never a perfect time. It’s like having kids. Or leaving a toxic job. Or starting a diet. Or leaving/starting a relationship. Or losing someone. There’s no perfect time. You can “prepare” yourself all you want, but when change comes, we still need to adjust, allow for transition.

There’s always that unknown space between when something ends and something new begins.

So what do you need to let go of today? Is it mind clutter that’s been overwhelming you into submission, where you just keep doing the same thing you’ve been doing and not liking the result? Maybe it’s physical clutter, and you just clean around it, seeing the piles around you (or not) and being energetically drained each time you pass them.

Action Challenge:

If it’s clutter you need to clear, give yourself one hour of time today. If an hour feels too long, make it 30 minutes. Set a timer for 15 minutes and pick one spot to clear, with the intention of bringing in more of what you love, need, and desire by releasing what you don’t. When the timer goes off, start putting things back so that when the ½ hour is up, your area is clear and you’re not left with chaos. Bag up what you’ve removed, label it “donation”, and put it in your car to go to a donation site. OR, put it in a bag or box, marked for the charity of your choice that you align with. Call the charity, schedule the pick-up, and seal the bag or box. Now you have a deadline for when it’s leaving.

If it’s not physical clutter, but an action step you need to take, allow yourself 30 minutes to research your options. Maybe you need to find a contractor or service and need referrals. Set your timer for 15 minutes making a list (an actual written list) listing out the criteria this contractor or service needs to provide. Do the test of passing up good for great. (Cheryl Richardson has a saying, “Pass up good for great.”). Once you have your list, spend the next 15 minutes asking for referrals. Maybe you can share a post on a Facebook Community Group asking for referrals. Be specific. Or text friends asking them who they’ve loved and used that moved them in the direction they wanted to go. When the timer goes off, thank yourself for taking a step toward creating space for you!

Resources to Receive Your Charitable Donations (aka Clutter):

www.purpleheartpickup.org –They’ll pick up from your home
https://angelsofgod.org/ – You drop off in Pitman, NJ
https://www.habitat.org/ – Pickup or Drop off. They accept larger household items.
https://smartparentadvice.com/how-to-donate-stuffed-animals/ – (This is an excellent article by Parenting Experts, Ryan and Cristin Howard. Their article offers ideas on how to donate stuffed animals, and their site is a great resource for navigating parenting as we release and let go.)

Leave a comment letting me know what worked or what didn’t.

Want to chat privately? Message me here.

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Sharing is Caring! If you know someone who would benefit from reading this, please share it out! 🙂

By Christine Gipple|2020-06-07T12:35:37-04:00April 29th, 2018|Uncategorized|3 Comments

If you’re home was alive, what would it tell you?

If your home could speak to you, what would it say? If your belongings could speak to you, what messages and words would you hear?

In Feng Shui, there are three main tenets:

Everything is alive
Everything has energy
Everything is always changing.

In keeping with this principle, ask yourself, what’s your stuff saying about you, and to you? Is what you’re keeping holding you hostage to old beliefs and patterns, or is it supporting you to take you to your next level.

In my last blog, I talked about ways to release clutter so it doesn’t come back. In this blog, I invite you to look at your home as an extension of you.

Your Home as an Extension of YOU…

Your home is simply an outer reflection of what’s going on inside you. Further, we’re always matched energetically with our homes. Meaning, on a vibrational level, we draw to us the very homes we need to grow and expand. Whether it’s the layout of the land, the numerology of the home, or the history of the previous tenants that align with our life circumstance, we’re always attracting what we’re energetically matched to or aligned with.

Consider this quote: “Our consciousness is reflected in our environment, and our environment reflects our consciousness.” In other words, what we believe inside, we create outside. And what we surround ourselves with outside, affects us internally.

What we keep matters.

Imagine that each item you own could talk to you, what would your belongings say? Would they want to be loved, respected, given a place to live? Would they want you toss them or pass them on to some other owner?

Challenge this week:

This week, when you walk into a room of your home, notice, does your energy go up? Or does it go down? When you pick up your belongings, what feelings come up inside you? Are you inspired, or are you drained? Become the observer of how you’re affected in each area of your home. Be discerning. If something drains you, let it go! Give yourself permission to pass it on. Yes, even that ceramic dog your Aunt Susie gave you that you put out every time she comes, even though you hate it.

Lastly, I need your help! There’s a lot of noise on the internet, and I want to be sure you’re finding this information helpful. If you liked this info, please hop over to Facebook page or email me here, to tell me what you liked, and what you’d like to see more of. Just hit reply to this email! I’d love to hear your comments and feedback! If you know someone this could help, please share it. 🙂

Next week, I’ll share what each floor of our home represents on the spiritual level.

Like this info? Follow my blog here.

A blog about living deliberately, aligned to what matters most.

By Christine Gipple|2018-01-15T12:33:30-05:00January 15th, 2018|Uncategorized|0 Comments

[Cut the Cord to your CLUTTER] in these EASY steps! (+ Keep it from returning!)

You might be fed up, ready to toss your excess stuff (clutter), because you know how good it will feel to get it OUT of your house. The instant gratification game is seductive. Yes, you’ll feel lighter from the releasing. AND, there’s an excellent chance the clutter will come back if you’re not intentional and deliberate when you’re letting go.

Before you start decluttering, ask yourself, “What is it I want to create space for?” Why is this important? Because knowing what you do want offers clarity and insight around what to let go of. Sometimes we learn the hard way. Sometimes we keep things we don’t love, or keep things that drain us. We may do it unconsciously, unaware that what we keep around us will hold the actual circumstances of our lives in place. I know someone who keeps Christmas ornaments and photos of all their ex’s, yet longs to be in a new relationship. Every Christmas they put those same ornaments on their tree, then wonder why they’re depressed, and not in a new relationship. They haven’t asked this question about what they do want. They don’t see the connection between what they keep, and how that locks in what shows up in their life.

I’m not saying letting go is simple. There’s nothing simple about emotional attachment.

I am saying if you can be discerning about what comes into your home or office, you’ll create a space and life that is in complete alignment with what matters most to you. Does that make sense?

Once you’re clear on what you’re creating space for, as you start the de-clutter process, ask yourself the following questions:

Do I love it?
Do I need it?
Do I use it?
Does it add value to my life? If so, how?
Does it reflect who I am now, or who I want to be?

If any of these answers aren’t absolute yes, why are you keeping it? You really want to be clear here. If it doesn’t say who you are or who you want to be, it’s going to keep you stuck in a past you don’t want to be in.

What’s next? Think about one area of your home, or one section of a room that’s most bothersome to you. What most needs your attention? A drawer, closet, garage, basement, junk drawer in the bedroom? Pick one small area. Choose the amount of time you want to spend de-cluttering. If you’re doing an hour, set your timer for 30 minutes and when the timer goes off, use the remaining 30 minutes to clean up what you started so you feel complete. There’s more to letting go, but this is one simple place to start.

After you do this, hop over to my Facebook page or email me to tell me what worked, or what didn’t.

Finally, my next few posts will be a continuation of this letting go process. Follow my blog to continue the journey of letting go, while living deliberately aligned to what matters most to you. You can Join my community here.

For the love of letting go,

Chris

♥

By Christine Gipple|2018-01-21T18:12:23-05:00January 11th, 2018|Uncategorized|0 Comments

What’s your New Year’s Eve Ritual? Instead of [Resolutions], try this!

The past few days, I’ve been thinking about how we can enhance our family’s “reflection rituals” for New Year’s Eve. In the past, we’ve done vision boards at our dining room table, each equipped with magazines, poster board, scissors and glue. We play music we love, we chat, and we enjoy the creation process. Additions for this year are: reading through all the messages of thanks from 2017 from our gratitude jar (shown below), and answering a new series of questions I created as we exit 2017 and welcome in 2018’s peaceful energy.

If you’re tired of making resolutions and not following through, join me in reflective ritual by asking yourself the questions below. (If you need to pull your 2017 calendar off your wall, or look in your phone’s calendar to recall how you spent your time, by all means, do it!) Pour a cup of tea, light some candles, put on some quiet music and enter 2018 with awareness around our choices. (Here’s just one of my favorite CD’s for reflection): The Essential Snatam Kaur: Sacred Chants.

Grab a journal, or some paper and answer these reflective questions:

What worked in 2017? What didn’t? Make a list.
What do you want more of in 2018? What do you want less of? Make a list.
What activities did you do, what actions did you take, or what choices did you make that drained you, leaving you feeling depleted? Write them down.
Which activities or actions lit you up, excited you, leaving you feeling inspired, motivated and unstoppable?
Looking at your list for what excited you, what’s the common theme or feeling that’s present? Next to each activity, just make a note of the feeling that was present from doing that activity. Was it happiness? Confidence? Freedom? Look for the most common theme for 2017. Choose the feeling that’s the strongest from your list. This is what you want to create more of in 2018.
Knowing that in order to feel those feelings, there’s likely an action you’ll need to take or a structure you’ll need in place in order to feel inspired and create change. What’s one thing you could do this week, and potentially continue, so you could feel those feelings now, instead of in the future?
Lastly, what kind of support do you need in place to accomplish this? Is there something you need to let go of? Something you need to add? Someone you need to help hold you accountable?

My hope is these questions bring you closer to your dreams for 2018! If you’d like a list of feelings to help you tap into your desires, you can find that here. If you liked this exercise and would like some deeper introspection, I’ve included a PDF of Debbie Ford’s, “A New Year’s Ritual here.

Like this post and want to see more like it? You can follow my blog and receive my newsletter by clicking here.

I’d love to hear if this helped you. What did you love? What did you resist? What are you creating more of (or taking away) as a result of doing this exercise?

Sending you wishes for a powerful and healthy 2018!

Chris

xo

By Christine Gipple|2018-01-07T01:46:11-05:00December 31st, 2017|Uncategorized|0 Comments

Feelings & Needs, Part II – What’s driving your behavior?

How do you help someone when they’re out of touch with their own needs?

What if it’s your child, and they’re laying on the floor, with tears running down their face, and they’re so overwhelmed they can’t tell you what they need? Like it was for my daughter last weekend. How do you invite connection, intimacy and interaction?

As a parent to a highly sensitive child, it’s been a delicate dance of knowing when to ask questions, when to give space, and when to hold space. I know for me, when my daughter starts to get overwhelmed, I need to start looking at where I am. What am I feeling, what am I needing? How am I contributing to her own stress levels, if at all?

This where self-empathy comes in. In order to tune in to the needs of someone else, we have to do self-connection first.

When we’re meeting our own needs, we increase the capacity to hear others’ needs. I admit, it’s not always easy to pause, especially if we’re feeling stressed out, have too much on our plates, or are running on little sleep. Combine those factors with a highly sensitive person (HSP), and you have a recipe for disconnect and discord.

As I mentioned last week in Feelings and Needs, Part I, in our family dynamic, peaceful resolution to conflict is always the goal. Hearing the needs of everyone in the house is a priority. It’s our way of being. When I was growing up, the mindset of my parents was the kids were to be seen and not heard. We did what we were told, without invitation for conversation or discussion. Needs or Feelings weren’t considered, and I almost laugh when I think about what would’ve happened if I’d tried to express back then. I heard, “Do as I say, not as I do” more times than I can count. The silent message was, “Your needs don’t matter. Be quiet. Do what you’re told. Don’t ask questions, and if you have an opinion, keep it to yourself – you’re just a kid – I’M the parent.”

If you look at the logic of that, it doesn’t really make sense. When you think of a kid speaking their mind, what do you think of? I hear the saying, “Out of the mouths of babes…” – in other words, kids are uncensored, honest. They don’t filter what they say or how, and often they have incredible insight and wisdom. That’s a gift.

Consider this: When a need is met, it goes away.

When we can truly hear a person and connect to what’s going on for them, that’s often what they desire most – to be heard, to feel valued, to be seen. So when you consider the concept that all behavior is an attempt to fulfill a need, it makes sense to find the need under the behavior. Whether your child is curled up in a ball crying, or someone’s lashing out, screaming, or hurling things across the room, there’s a need underneath the behavior. Looking past the behavior to understand what’s driving it is key. That’s where the truth is. And where there’s truth, we can be vulnerable, connected, and move on.

However you’re celebrating this season, if you’re feeling obligated, stressed out, or like you can’t give anymore, press your own “Pause” button. Close your eyes. Take a breath. And ask yourself, “What do I most need?” If you can’t name the need, ask yourself, “What am I feeling?” And work your way to the need that’s driving your behavior. Find your way to your own truth.

The best gift you can give is your presence. You’ll feel happier, lighter, and so will the people around you.

Like this post and want to see more like it? Click here to follow my blog and receive my newsletter. 🙂

Much love and Merry Christmas,

Chris

xo

By Christine Gipple|2018-01-07T01:50:02-05:00December 25th, 2017|Uncategorized|0 Comments

Feelings & Needs – Part I [PLUS: FREE RESOURCE]

What if I said it’s possible not only to get your needs met, but to also meet the needs and desires of those around you, without sacrificing your own values or desires? Would you think it’s possible? Would you want some insight as to how?

Here’s the thing. We all want connection. We all want to be heard, to feel valued, to know we matter, and be seen. The essence of Non-violent communication (NVC) is peaceful resolution to conflict. It’s understanding that we all have needs, and all human needs are universal.

FACT: Every action we take, and every choice we make is an attempt to fulfill a need.

Let me repeat that….. E V E R Y A C T I O N we take, and every choice we make is an attempt to meet a need.

So wouldn’t it make sense that in order to get our needs met, it’s essential to first name what they are? It sounds simple, but if you’re not accustomed to tuning in, to checking in with your body, with your emotions, with your own desires FIRST, it can feel impossible to name the actual need under your behavior or action. The link I’m sharing has 3 FREE lists: feelings, needs, and body sensations. It’s available for free download here. Once you click on the link, you can choose which list you want to download, or download all three. You can use these lists to help you connect to what’s going on inside you when you’re having difficulty naming the emotion or need. If you’d like to take it a step further, check out this feelings and needs card deck. When you click on the link, it’s the very first option shown. Consider these new tools for your Life Toolbox. (Disclaimer: I’m not an affiliate for NVC. While I do teach, live and practice this way of living, I’m simply sharing this resource. I was introduced to NVC more than a decade ago, and it was a game changer in the way our family interacted and how I approached life in general.)

WHEN we use the Feelings & Needs Card Deck:

When meltdowns feel imminent
If we miss the intuitive hits and meltdowns happen, these cards are a great way to connect from a place of love, of true desire to connect in a way that all needs are considered and valued.
As a way to connect to what’s going on inside you when you’re having difficulty naming the need
If one of us is feeling really off, tense, or irritable and unable to communicate.
Or if we desire deeper connection and want to enrich our experience with one another.

HOW we use the Feelings & Needs Card Deck:

We’ll simply lay out the cards, feelings first, and we’ll each pick our cards, in silence. When we have all our cards, we then remove that deck, and lay the other cards, the needs. We choose what’s most alive for us from this deck, again in silence, and then one person chooses to share first. While one person is sharing, we listen with silent empathy. We simply witness and listen to what’s being said. Note: This is just ONE way we use the cards, not “the only” way to use them. 😉 (Once, when I was overwhelmed with a lot of emotional attachment and charge, I used the cards to help me get clarity in writing someone a letter.)

If something is burning inside us and we’d like to respond, we ask permission. We don’t shout out our thoughts or project our reactions when someone else is sharing. We share with reflective listening.

Clarifying questions can be helpful to encourage someone to tune in deeper to what they need, but I encourage you to be clear of your intentions and agendas before asking questions. This isn’t for us to fix, diagnose, or decide for anyone else.

Are you thinking, “this is too much work!”?

I’ll admit that in the moment, it does take more time, energy, patience, and willingness. And…In the long run, it saves time, energy, patience and creates more willingness, because this practice of tuning in creates space for everyone to feel heard, which sometimes is all we need to be able to move forward in our day or life..

May you find peace, happiness, health and all of life’s blessings this holiday season.

With love,

Chris

P.S. If you’d like to follow my blog and receive my newsletter on simplifying, letting go and creating more ease, you can do that here .

By Christine Gipple|2018-01-07T01:57:48-05:00December 17th, 2017|Uncategorized|0 Comments

Minimalism, Simplicity + Letting Go of Perfectionism

As I make my way toward minimalism, I’m still surprised how resistance shows up so big for me. For years my mantra has been, “Order, Ease, & Simplicity”, and in that order. When I have order, it brings me ease, and when I have ease, my life is simple.

Sounds simple right? It can be. And yet, we complicate our lives more than we need to.

We hold on. We resist. We deny. We blame someone or something else so we don’t have to look at our own stuff, our own issues.

Because here’s the deal. Letting go isn’t about the thing, person, or situation we’re letting go of. It’s about the emotional attachment that the experience or memory has brought us –including difficult or negative memories.

Letting go is a process.

One of the most difficult things for me to let go of is books. Especially books that my daughter and I have read together. I can recall all our snuggles, cozying up for all our daily ritualistic reading times – wake-up reading, pre-nap reading, post-nap reading, bedtime reading, or just middle of the day reading. I can still hear her little voice bursting out when we’d get to a specific page, and I can hear my own inflections as I read certain books. I fantasize about reading those same books to her children when she’s older.

Maybe that will happen. Maybe not.

Life can change in a split second. We have little control over when we leave here or how. I mean, we do. And we don’t.

In an attempt to keep life simple, I started a book buying ban in August, and created a Little Free Library. I’ve wanted to create one of these libraries for years, and to keep me accountable with the lifestyle I want to live, the book ban felt necessary.

The perfectionist in me wants to tell you I have it all figured out, and I have this letting-go piece down. That I can live as a pure minimalist with only what I need. But that’s not true. I, too, am in process. I’m working my way there. I have my own demons, resistance and challenges, just like you.

What is true is this: I’ve learned to love and respect what I choose to keep. I’ve learned to only keep what I love. When adding something to my home or life, I’ve learned to ask myself if what I’m bringing in adds value, not just to my life, but to all of our lives that live in our home. As far as resistance, I’ve learned to do one thing – just one thing – instead of letting my mind spin out of control when I feel overwhelmed with too much stuff, too much to do, or too many obligations. I pause. I do one thing that I CAN do, then another, then another -not 10 things at once.

What matters is substance, connection, relating deeply to those I love. What I know for sure is clutter gets in the way. Mental, emotional, and physical clutter blocks us from the very thing we say we want. The funny thing about resistance is that it takes so much of our energy to resist, deny, not look at, or avoid something we need to do, or not do.

The truth is, if we channeled our energy into doing the very thing we’re resisting, we’d create more space, more openness, and more connection with ourselves, and those we love.

On this cold Sunday in December, after our first snowfall of the season, I’m going to honor my own resistance today and take control over what I can, which is planning my work week while my husband and daughter are enjoying some much needed daddy-daughter time. How about you? What’s one thing you can do today to honor yourself where you are?

Blessings to you!

xo

P.S. If you’d like to follow my blog and receive my newsletter on simplifying, letting go and creating more ease, you can do that here .

By Christine Gipple|2018-01-07T01:58:56-05:00December 10th, 2017|Uncategorized|0 Comments