transition Archives - Life Coaching by Christine Gipple

Letting Go & Holding On

Why do we hold onto things?

What is it we hope to gain?

What are we so afraid of releasing, even if it’s things we’re not using?

It’s a loaded question, and one not easily answered because it’s subjective to each of us.

It’s subjective, and it’s also universal.

We all worry about needing things after we let go. We all can relate to feeling overwhelmed at the amount of responsibility on our plates, clutter in our homes and in our minds.

When it comes to letting go, we often resist. We think if we hold on, we retain a sense of control, because we know what it feels like to hold on. Letting go creates an unknown. It’s new territory.

Letting go means change.

Change is a form of surrender. We may not know what’s coming next. We may not know what to do after we release something, or someone. Where does it go? Where will it be used the most effectively? When can I get it there? Where does it go before I take it there or have it picked up? What happens after it’s gone? What’s next, and who am I without it?

All of these questions can lead to paralysis, so we do nothing. We hold on. We keep it “until we have more time” to figure out all the pieces before jumping in to something new.

I’ll tell you a secret. There’s never a perfect time. It’s like having kids. Or leaving a toxic job. Or starting a diet. Or leaving/starting a relationship. Or losing someone. There’s no perfect time. You can “prepare” yourself all you want, but when change comes, we still need to adjust, allow for transition.

There’s always that unknown space between when something ends and something new begins.

So what do you need to let go of today? Is it mind clutter that’s been overwhelming you into submission, where you just keep doing the same thing you’ve been doing and not liking the result? Maybe it’s physical clutter, and you just clean around it, seeing the piles around you (or not) and being energetically drained each time you pass them.

Action Challenge:

If it’s clutter you need to clear, give yourself one hour of time today. If an hour feels too long, make it 30 minutes. Set a timer for 15 minutes and pick one spot to clear, with the intention of bringing in more of what you love, need, and desire by releasing what you don’t. When the timer goes off, start putting things back so that when the ½ hour is up, your area is clear and you’re not left with chaos. Bag up what you’ve removed, label it “donation”, and put it in your car to go to a donation site. OR, put it in a bag or box, marked for the charity of your choice that you align with. Call the charity, schedule the pick-up, and seal the bag or box. Now you have a deadline for when it’s leaving.

If it’s not physical clutter, but an action step you need to take, allow yourself 30 minutes to research your options. Maybe you need to find a contractor or service and need referrals. Set your timer for 15 minutes making a list (an actual written list) listing out the criteria this contractor or service needs to provide. Do the test of passing up good for great. (Cheryl Richardson has a saying, “Pass up good for great.”). Once you have your list, spend the next 15 minutes asking for referrals. Maybe you can share a post on a Facebook Community Group asking for referrals. Be specific. Or text friends asking them who they’ve loved and used that moved them in the direction they wanted to go. When the timer goes off, thank yourself for taking a step toward creating space for you!

Resources to Receive Your Charitable Donations (aka Clutter):

www.purpleheartpickup.org –They’ll pick up from your home
https://angelsofgod.org/ – You drop off in Pitman, NJ
https://www.habitat.org/ – Pickup or Drop off. They accept larger household items.
https://smartparentadvice.com/how-to-donate-stuffed-animals/ – (This is an excellent article by Parenting Experts, Ryan and Cristin Howard. Their article offers ideas on how to donate stuffed animals, and their site is a great resource for navigating parenting as we release and let go.)

Leave a comment letting me know what worked or what didn’t.

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[Cut the Cord to your CLUTTER] in these EASY steps! (+ Keep it from returning!)

You might be fed up, ready to toss your excess stuff (clutter), because you know how good it will feel to get it OUT of your house. The instant gratification game is seductive. Yes, you’ll feel lighter from the releasing. AND, there’s an excellent chance the clutter will come back if you’re not intentional and deliberate when you’re letting go.

Before you start decluttering, ask yourself, “What is it I want to create space for?” Why is this important? Because knowing what you do want offers clarity and insight around what to let go of. Sometimes we learn the hard way. Sometimes we keep things we don’t love, or keep things that drain us. We may do it unconsciously, unaware that what we keep around us will hold the actual circumstances of our lives in place. I know someone who keeps Christmas ornaments and photos of all their ex’s, yet longs to be in a new relationship. Every Christmas they put those same ornaments on their tree, then wonder why they’re depressed, and not in a new relationship. They haven’t asked this question about what they do want. They don’t see the connection between what they keep, and how that locks in what shows up in their life.

I’m not saying letting go is simple. There’s nothing simple about emotional attachment.

I am saying if you can be discerning about what comes into your home or office, you’ll create a space and life that is in complete alignment with what matters most to you. Does that make sense?

Once you’re clear on what you’re creating space for, as you start the de-clutter process, ask yourself the following questions:

Do I love it?
Do I need it?
Do I use it?
Does it add value to my life? If so, how?
Does it reflect who I am now, or who I want to be?

If any of these answers aren’t absolute yes, why are you keeping it? You really want to be clear here. If it doesn’t say who you are or who you want to be, it’s going to keep you stuck in a past you don’t want to be in.

What’s next? Think about one area of your home, or one section of a room that’s most bothersome to you. What most needs your attention? A drawer, closet, garage, basement, junk drawer in the bedroom? Pick one small area. Choose the amount of time you want to spend de-cluttering. If you’re doing an hour, set your timer for 30 minutes and when the timer goes off, use the remaining 30 minutes to clean up what you started so you feel complete. There’s more to letting go, but this is one simple place to start.

After you do this, hop over to my Facebook page or email me to tell me what worked, or what didn’t.

Finally, my next few posts will be a continuation of this letting go process. Follow my blog to continue the journey of letting go, while living deliberately aligned to what matters most to you. You can Join my community here.

For the love of letting go,

Chris

♥