Crave Less (when the default is to accumulate more)

The older I get, the more space I crave.

Space to think, to be, to breathe, to process, to simply exist.

Yet, it’s a theme for me to continually hear myself say, “I want less.” “I need less.” Still.

My old pattern is to do more, achieve more, and to move at lightning speed. Even if my body doesn’t move at lightning speed, my mind typically does. I plan, arrange, organize, and categorize ideas and tasks in my mind before I even get out of bed!

Craving less means I consciously choose less clutter around me, less food in my body, less commitments in my calendar, and less (aka no) toxicity in relationships. In exchange, I’m more connected to what matters most, and I make mindful choices about what I DO want.

Back in the 90’s, my husband and I rented our first vacation spot in the Pocono Mountains: a raised rancher with a sun-room, floor-to-ceiling windows framed in oak, ceramic floors, and completely surrounded by trees. I felt nurtured, connected to myself, and could have stayed there the entire time and been content.

Our “thing” back then was to shop. We had a saying that my husband would “Shop until I dropped.” Even then, I wasn’t into the consumption scene. But I did it because it was part of “our vacation” and something he loved to do. I also felt the instant gratification that came from our purchases, which was another theme for me. I’d run on the high that came from accumulation of things –in the moment. Only to realize later, it was an unconscious pattern to distract, rather than a conscious choice to consume.

Most of those purchases have since been sold at yard sales or given away. Though we did keep a few choice favorites, like this painting below. It depicts a woman sitting solo in meditation, silhouetted in gold, and still brings me peace and a reminder to ground from within.

As I started to crave less, I simultaneously wanted less inner-clutter. I spent a few decades exploring and befriending old beliefs, habits, and patterns that were ingrained in me from childhood. I replaced them with a mindset that focused on my core values and emotions and then took action on the things that I “said” I wanted.

Because here’s the thing. We might say we want something but then find ourselves taking actions that are in direct opposition to the things we say we want. A simple example might be saying you want to exercise, but you find yourself watching Netflix instead of creating space in your calendar to work out. This can happen because of unconscious programming that we’re not even aware of.

Here’s some benefits of Craving Less…

By craving less, I have more:

  • Space for experiences that fill me up, like yoga, meditation, learning, walking, being in nature, writing, reading and nurturing meaningful connections.
  • Flexibility to choose who I work with and when because I’ve eliminated the things that don’t work.
  • Gratitude for the things and relationships I do have vs. what focusing on what others have.
  • Capacity to live with less in some areas because of opportunities that arise in other areas.
  • Energy to keep going when things feel challenging because I’ve removed distractions (physical or emotional)!
  • Money in my pocket because I’m more deliberate and mindful of every choice I make.

And I’m acutely aware that these are choices I make from a place of privilege. Privilege and long, hard work to get to this point in my life.

I’m deeply impacted by my physical and emotional environment, so it’s critical to my mental well-being to keep things simple.

In essence, I need 3 things: Order, Ease and Simplicity. When I have order, I feel ease, and when I feel ease, my life feels simple. Simplicity brings me into balance and alignment with my truest self. The way for me to get here is to consistently assess and release what no longer serves as I evolve and grow.

This goes for my home, my car, my office, my relationships and my calendar. When I’m over-cluttered and over-committed, it’s challenging to make conscious choices because I don’t have clarity.

Most of the clients I work with are similar. Even if they say they love having a lot of stuff around them, or, “They are OK with the status quo”, there’s often a delightful exhale that happens when they remove the outdated excess in their life. This includes habits, patterns, beliefs, jobs, homes, and even relationships that no longer feel balanced or reciprocal.

Today is Feb 18th, 2025 and I’m curious, What are you craving today? What do you crave less of? What do you crave more of? Is there anything you told yourself you’d start or do, but you haven’t yet begun?

Before you click away, think about what it might feel like to achieve the thing you say you want? Imagine that you’ve started…how do you feel?

Just marinate in that feeling because that feeling just may be the catalyst that supports you to take the action you need to make it happen.

Interested in exploring this together, or just want to connect and say hello, simply reply here. I’d love to hear from you!

By |2025-02-18T22:40:24-05:00February 18th, 2025|Uncategorized|0 Comments

Change Your Closet, Change Your Life. A TEDx Talk to Share

I’m so excited to share this TEDx talk I found on YouTube:  Change Your Closet, Change Your Life. 

In the video below, Gillian Dunn talks about her own wake-up call when she went into her closet to get a candle that she was saving for a special occasion, only to find a big ball of blue wax inside the box.  The candle had done exactly what it was supposed to do – melt – but it did it without her.  This spurred an inner exploration that changed her life.

This video had me reflecting on how we live our lives in our own self-imposed chains. 

These chains show up as limiting beliefs, excuses, fear, worry and doubt.  These chains stop us from living the life we say we want.  We find ourselves saying, “I’ll do it when…. ____.” and “Someday I’ll …____.  Fill in your blank.  We need to consciously shift our mindset and behaviors if we want to truly change.

 

Change is messy, and not always easy.

The next morning after watching the video, I leapt out of bed to start my day. During the elimination process, my 15-year-old daughter asked me why she’d never seen all these ‘fashionable’ things! She started trying them on, claiming them for her own. 😉 In the end, I donated two large bags to my favorite non-profit, and it was just the catapult I needed to re-fuel my desire to live with less.

Here’s what I want you to do:  Take the next 15 minutes (and 37 seconds) to watch this Video, and then come back and answer this question: 

What’s one thing you’re willing to commit to this week to allow yourself to step into the life you want to live?

Maybe you’re willing to….

  • Have that ‘hard’ conversation that’s been lurking over you.
  • Clear your closet of items that don’t fit (to make room for things that do).
  • Use your “good dishes” or wear your “nice clothes.”
  • Donate your excess belongings to someone in need.
  • Express your needs to someone in a loving, compassionate way.
  • Set a boundary with yourself around what you’ll no longer tolerate.

No more putting things off until “Someday.”

Life is far too short to leave our most cherished belongings tucked away in a box, or our dreams hidden in the back of our minds.

Looking for a great cause to donate to?   Here’s a non-profit I LOVE:  Katelyn started this non-profit when she was just 12 years old after being on the receiving end of an outpouring of support when her family needed it.  Now, more than a decade later, The Angels Community Outreach supports thousands.   They’re located in Pitman NJ, you can contact them here.

 

By |2022-01-30T21:44:37-05:00January 30th, 2022|Uncategorized|2 Comments

Avoiding the spiral of mental chatter ♥

We did a street-long yard sale yesterday, and after the sale I noticed myself engaging in mental chatter about lost time.  I spent time prepping for it, organizing it, physically being at the sale, then packing up the remainders for the various charities that will receive them.  Then this morning, I woke with similar thoughts on how this sale took time away from other things that needed to happen, but thankfully, I shifted quickly.

Truth is, yes, it did take time, and, the items are gone, which was my goal.  Our intentions were to make this our last sale, to have fun with family and neighbors, and to let my daughter have a lemonade stand with her friend.  We released unneeded belongings, and created space for things and activities we do want!

So if my goals were met, why the constant inner banter about what I could’ve been doing instead of the sale?  Because my to-do list is reallllly long and my mind chatter never stops.  I desire order, ease, and simplicity.  Letting go brings me these things, and it also takes work for me to get them.  As much as I love to feel at ease, to have order, and for life to be simple, I need the structures in place to have those things.  I also need good boundaries around my time.

How about you?   Does your mental to-do list overwhelm you and stop you from achieving what you say you want to do?   How do you move forward when mental chatter is in overdrive?

Here’s 3 things to do when mental chatter is spinning you into overwhelm.

#1 Start…Something.  Pick one thing and just start.  It doesn’t have to be perfect, and it mostly won’t be, but the act of movement will motivate you to keep going.  This morning, I considered my mental list, wrote out all that I wanted to get done, then narrowed it down to what was most important, and what would feel most productive by simply being started.  I slotted myself a specific amount of time and when that time was up, I stopped and moved on with my day.  I’m putting time and attention to my priorities, which feels gratifying, energizing, and productive.

#2 Ask for help.  I woke this morning mentally listing out all that needs to happen today, and the reality is my husband will be gone all afternoon, so it’s all on me.  In order for me to accomplish everything we need to make our home happy today and this week, I need help.  So I asked.

#3 Receive the help.  This may sound silly and obvious, but sometimes we can ask for the help, then when it comes, we find we’re still doing all the work anyway.  Give up the need for things to be perfect, and allow the support to be there for you.   Example:   My husband was grabbing some raised beds from Home Depot for me while I worked this morning.  He texted me photos with questions, and I couldn’t decide which one was best, plus I needed netting and wasn’t sure which kind.  I almost told him, “Never mind; I’ll run out later and get it.”   I wasn’t trusting that what we’ll get is fine, and we’ll work with it.  Instead I was thinking I needed to physically go there to pick it out.  I quickly caught myself, and chose to receive the help, letting it be enough so I can move on with my priorities.

These three things can catapult you into action, and give you the space and ease you need to feel productive and less stressed.

Here’s the thing.   We, particularly as women, are often the bus drivers in our home.  We drive the bus.  We’re responsible to maintain the bus with gas, oil, repairs, etc.  We create the bus schedule, and we make sure all the riders get where they need to go, on time, and they have what they need upon arrival to their destination. That’s a lot to hold, and often we fall off our own schedule.

Today, when mental overwhelm takes over, try these three things of #1, starting one thing, #2, asking for help and #3, receiving the help.  If you’re like me, your list is longer than you can do in a physical day, yet your Superwoman cape is probably pressed and ready to go!  🙂   Use this as an invitation to start something, drop the cape, and ask for (and receive) help.   You’ll be surprised at what can happen.

A 4th bonus step is to find the gold in the event that has you spinning into overwhelm.   My gold nugget from the yard sale yesterday was meeting a tow truck driver who offered to look at my 20 year old car that runs awesome, but needs an AC unit.  After looking at it, he told me it looks like an easy fix, (where my mechanic told me it wasn’t worth fixing), it shouldn’t cost much, and he referred me to guy that’s local!   Gold!  ♥

How about you?  What’s one thing you’re going to do this week after reading this?   How are you going to use your spiral to inspire you, instead of sabotage you?   

Tell me below or get in touch here.  

Until next time, my friend, put a practice in place that allows you to push that overwhelm to the curb and just start what you don’t want to start.

x’s and o’s,

Chris

If you’re not on my list to receive resources on living a simpler life and want to be, please click here.    If you’ve already joined, thanks so much for the support!

P.S. Sharing is Caring – if you know someone who would benefit from reading this, please share!

By |2018-05-07T01:12:48-04:00May 6th, 2018|Uncategorized|0 Comments

Letting Go & Holding On

Why do we hold onto things?

What is it we hope to gain?

What are we so afraid of releasing, even if it’s things we’re not using?

It’s a loaded question, and one not easily answered because it’s subjective to each of us.

It’s subjective, and it’s also universal.

We all worry about needing things after we let go.  We all can relate to feeling overwhelmed at the amount of responsibility on our plates, clutter in our homes and in our minds.

When it comes to letting go, we often resist.  We think if we hold on, we retain a sense of control, because we know what it feels like to hold on.  Letting go creates an unknown.  It’s new territory.

Letting go means change.

Change is a form of surrender.  We may not know what’s coming next.  We may not know what to do after we release something, or someone.  Where does it go?   Where will it be used the most effectively?   When can I get it there?  Where does it go before I take it there or have it picked up?  What happens after it’s gone?  What’s next, and who am I without it?

All of these questions can lead to paralysis, so we do nothing.  We hold on. We keep it “until we have more time” to figure out all the pieces before jumping in to something new.

I’ll tell you a secret.  There’s never a perfect time.   It’s like having kids.  Or leaving a toxic job.  Or starting a diet.  Or leaving/starting a relationship.  Or losing someone.  There’s no perfect time.  You can “prepare” yourself all you want, but when change comes, we still need to adjust, allow for transition.

There’s always that unknown space between when something ends and something new begins. 

So what do you need to let go of today?   Is it mind clutter that’s been overwhelming you into submission, where you just keep doing the same thing you’ve been doing and not liking the result?  Maybe it’s physical clutter, and you just clean around it, seeing the piles around you (or not) and being energetically drained each time you pass them.

Action Challenge:

If it’s clutter you need to clear, give yourself one hour of time today.  If an hour feels too long, make it 30 minutes.  Set a timer for 15 minutes and pick one spot to clear, with the intention of bringing in more of what you love, need, and desire by releasing what you don’t.   When the timer goes off, start putting things back so that when the ½ hour is up, your area is clear and you’re not left with chaos.   Bag up what you’ve removed, label it “donation”, and put it in your car to go to a donation site.   OR, put it in a bag or box, marked for the charity of your choice that you align with.  Call the charity, schedule the pick-up, and seal the bag or box.  Now you have a deadline for when it’s leaving.

If it’s not physical clutter, but an action step you need to take, allow yourself 30 minutes to research your options.  Maybe you need to find a contractor or service and need referrals.  Set your timer for 15 minutes making a list (an actual written list) listing out the criteria this contractor or service needs to provide.   Do the test of passing up good for great.   (Cheryl Richardson has a saying, “Pass up good for great.”).   Once you have your list, spend the next 15 minutes asking for referrals.  Maybe you can share a post on a Facebook Community Group asking for referrals.  Be specific.  Or text friends asking them who they’ve loved and used that moved them in the direction they wanted to go. When the timer goes off, thank yourself for taking a step toward creating space for you!

Resources to Receive Your Charitable Donations (aka Clutter):

  1. www.purpleheartpickup.org –They’ll pick up from your home
  2. https://angelsofgod.org/ You drop off in Pitman, NJ
  3. https://www.habitat.org/ – Pickup or Drop off.  They accept larger household items.
  4. https://smartparentadvice.com/how-to-donate-stuffed-animals/  – (This is an excellent article by Parenting Experts, Ryan and Cristin Howard.  Their article offers ideas on how to donate stuffed animals, and their site is a great resource for navigating parenting as we release and let go.)

Leave a comment letting me know what worked or what didn’t.

Want to chat privately?  Message me here.

Want to receive this newsletter in your inbox with resources on letting go, decluttering, and changing your life once and for all? click here.

Sharing is Caring!  If you know someone who would benefit from reading this, please share it out!  🙂

 

By |2020-06-07T12:35:37-04:00April 29th, 2018|Uncategorized|3 Comments

[Cut the Cord to your CLUTTER] in these EASY steps! (+ Keep it from returning!)

You might be fed up, ready to toss your excess stuff (clutter), because you know how good it will feel to get it OUT of your house.  The instant gratification game is seductive.    Yes, you’ll feel lighter from the releasing.  AND, there’s an excellent chance the clutter will come back if you’re not intentional and deliberate when you’re letting go.

Before you start decluttering, ask yourself, “What is it I want to create space for?” Why is this important?    Because knowing what you do want offers clarity and insight around what to let go of.  Sometimes we learn the hard way.  Sometimes we keep things we don’t love, or keep things that drain us. We may do it unconsciously, unaware that what we keep around us will hold the actual circumstances of our lives in place.   I know someone who keeps Christmas ornaments and photos of all their ex’s, yet longs to be in a new relationship.  Every Christmas they put those same ornaments on their tree, then wonder why they’re depressed, and not in a new relationship.   They haven’t asked this question about what they do want.  They don’t see the connection between what they keep, and how that locks in what shows up in their life.

I’m not saying letting go is simple.  There’s nothing simple about emotional attachment.

I am saying if you can be discerning about what comes into your home or office, you’ll create a space and life that is in complete alignment with what matters most to you.  Does that make sense?

Once you’re clear on what you’re creating space for, as you start the de-clutter process, ask yourself the following questions:

  1. Do I love it?
  2. Do I need it?
  3. Do I use it?
  4. Does it add value to my life? If so, how?
  5. Does it reflect who I am now, or who I want to be?

If any of these answers aren’t absolute yes, why are you keeping it?  You really want to be clear here.  If it doesn’t say who you are or who you want to be, it’s going to keep you stuck in a past you don’t want to be in.

What’s next?     Think about one area of your home, or one section of a room that’s most bothersome to you.  What most needs your attention?  A drawer, closet, garage, basement, junk drawer in the bedroom?   Pick one small area.   Choose the amount of time you want to spend de-cluttering.  If you’re doing an hour, set your timer for 30 minutes and when the timer goes off, use the remaining 30 minutes to clean up what you started so you feel complete.  There’s more to letting go, but this is one simple place to start.

After you do this, hop over to my Facebook page or email me to tell me what worked, or what didn’t.

Finally, my next few posts will be a continuation of this letting go process.  Follow my blog to continue the journey of letting go, while living deliberately aligned to what matters most to you. You can Join my community here.

For the love of letting go,

Chris

 

 

By |2018-01-21T18:12:23-05:00January 11th, 2018|Uncategorized|0 Comments

Resistance – How it shows up and keeps us stuck

A few years back, I had resistance to working with a coach to do some deep work.  I had two main fears:

1) What if I surpassed my husband in terms of personal growth, ruining the possibility for us to stay truly “connected”?  And,

2) What if I stayed the same? (which in my mind was worse than the first one)

Both of these fears were my resistance.  Resistance is simply an unconscious (often self-imposed) defense mechanism that we put in place thinking it’s going to protect us from feeling the hurt, discomfort, pain, anxiety, rejection or whatever it is we don’t want to feel.

Fact is, resistance does the opposite of protecting us from any of those things.  Resistance will bind us to the very pain and discomfort we’re trying so hard to avoid.

We often tell ourselves it’s scary to look inside and get to the root of our emotional stories, dramas, or situations, but the truth is, it’s actually scarier not to.

Once you see it, you can transform it.  Louise Hay has a great quote, “If  you’re going to clean the house, you have to see the dirt.”

You can’t change what you can’t see.

The good news is, once you see the dirt, once you face your resistance and actually DO that thing that scares you, you’re immediately more empowered.  Then you can take steps toward your desires. Any small steps toward what you want will slowly dissipate your fear.

Think about something you’ve been wanting to say yes to, or something that’s been on your desires list and you’ve been too afraid to commit to.   What can you do this week to move you closer to YES?

Think small, baby steps.  Something bite sized and doable.  Then do it!

Taking one step can be the catapult you need for big change.

You got this!

Sending you big love….

xo

P.S.  If you’d like to follow my blog and receive my newsletter on simplifying, letting go and creating more ease, you can do that here .  

By |2018-01-07T02:00:34-05:00November 19th, 2017|Uncategorized|0 Comments

Why I’m doing a [ONE-YEAR BAN] on buying books or courses (and creating a Little Free Library)

Though I live simply, I’ve had one vice that’s been strong since my 20’s – buying books.  When our family of three moved into our current home in 2009, we came with 23 bookcases – some 4’x8’, some 3’x6’, some smaller – but all filled.  Some had albums in them, yes, albums, but mostly books.  As my daughter has grown, so has our book collection.   I wish I’d counted all the books I’ve released since then, but I’m certain it’s in the 1000’s.  Yet, I’ve also continued to buy books.

One of the surviving bookcases is housed in my dining room, and I’m in the process of redoing it. By redoing, I mean re-evaluating what’s there, moving things out, creating space for what I want more of in the next 12 months.  Writing is one of those things.  Since my bookcase falls in the creativity section of my dining room in feng shui, it’s critical to be clear and deliberate with what’s here…if I want to manifest my desire to write more.   For me, this is an area that continues to get jammed up.

While I was creating a “writing section” in one area of this bookcase, it was easy to see nothing was moving in until something else moved out.

I’d done it again.

I’d pushed aside a big vision and filled it with lots of tiny obstacles.

Things. Stuff.  Obstacles to space.

I stopped the process and just sat down where I was.  I started to write to get clarity on my next steps.  I didn’t want to just move books around and “make room”.  I needed a new way of being.

This new way of being resulted in declaring a one-year book buying ban.  To hold myself accountable and to document it, I’m sharing my journey, with the hope this adds some value to you, and you can benefit from my process.

My intention for the ban is to use the resources I have.   If I’m tempted to buy something, I’ll shop from my shelves.  Even though Amazon Prime and I are tight – you know, on a first name basis kind of thing – I could create my own amazon.

Instead of recreating my own Amazon, I’ve decided to create a “Little Free Library”.  Have you seen them?  They’re those adorable little “mini-tree-house-looking” wood houses that hold books.  You place it on your property and wa-lah, instant library!  I’ve been wanting to do this for years, and never made time for it.   While I’m just starting the research on it, I’m super excited to start!  I’m seeing them popping up all over locally and I love them.   More on this soon!

Lastly, in addition to the book ban, I’m also declaring a one-year ban on buying courses – online or otherwise.  (Only exception is additional coaching certifications already on my radar and accounted for.)    I began 2017 committed to 3 trainings, and through the year, I’ve added at least 7 others that I can recall.  Everything looks good to me.  I have this insatiable appetite for learning and growing.  But right now, I’m letting what I know and what I have be “Enough”.

In our world of consumerism, of always looking for the next biggest thing, it’s easy to fall prey to having too much.   Also, in a world where there’s so many struggling to eat, or pay their mortgage, or find a job, having “too much” feels far too wasteful to me.

Look for updated posts on the Little Free Library and updates on the bans!

Like this article, or find value?  Share it with those who’ll benefit from it.

See you soon!

xo

Chris

By |2017-08-13T16:16:55-04:00August 13th, 2017|Uncategorized|5 Comments
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