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Joyous Outrage – Embracing Peaceful Intolerance

Joyous Outrage – not words that seem to go together, right? Stay with me…

Last night I pulled an oracle card, and my card was, “Power of Joy. ” The card invited me to consider that when we come from a place of joy, we connect to our purpose. Even though I believe this, I found myself questioning if embracing joy was the wisest choice when we’re living with so much injustice and fear in our world right now.

In the wake of covid19, George Floyd’s murder, and a multitude of other events, I was feeling challenged to embrace joy in the face of horrific injustices. Then I realized choosing joy is the wisest choice. The events of our world are exactly why we need to stay connected to what brings us joy.

In the saying, “time flies when you’re having fun”, we’re reminded how we wish we could stop the clock, press pause, and savor the moment, right? Here’s a few of my moments of joy…

…when I held my sleeping infant daughter in my arms and digitally recorded her tiny sounds as she breathed.
…the night I pulled my wet 3-yr old out of the tub and dressed her faster than a Ninja because Santa was coming on the fire truck outside. Her high pitched squeals of excitement literally made me cry.
…and then the simple beauty of seeing flowers in a vase I love, hearing the birds chirp, witnessing children play.

Just for a moment here, close your eyes and think about what brings you true joy. Ok, got it? Now, hold onto that for a minute.

George Floyd’s death has both, brought our nation together, and illuminated where we’re still grossly divided. With our peaceful protestors there are also opportunistic looters. One blurs into the other as our nation splits into what’s right, what’s wrong, as we forget the entire point of the peaceful protestors. I stand with the protestors. I stand up for Peaceful Intolerance. I stand for claiming justice and joy for ALL humans.

Have the hard conversations. Act on the social injustices you witness. As history continues to repeat itself, I’ve felt ashamed to be a white woman when I see the inequities around me. George Floyd death is not an isolated incident; it’s a systemic reminder of what needs to change. Our enraged country, and our world is screaming, “Enough!”

ENOUGH! Enough to the injustice. Enough to the divide. Enough to rights for some, and not for others.

What can we do if we’re not able to physically protest? How can we bring the change we want to see? That’s what I’ve been sitting with. What can I actually do?

As trite as it sounds, I can embrace joy. Even in my outrage. I can be joyously outraged as I’m reminded all lives matter. Black lives matter. Trans lives matter. Children’s voices matter. Elderly voices matter. And right now more than ever, we need to stand in solidarity that #Black Lives Matter.

Hitler divided us. Hitler decided who was worthy to live based on the color of their skin, the size or shape of their head, or the name someone had. And now our leader is dividing us with those same criteria. I don’t know what kind of pain our president is in, but I do know we cannot afford to let his wounds lead this country anymore.

We need empathy, not tweets.

Action Challenge:

Here’s some steps I’m taking as I’m not able to physically protest right now. Maybe this will spark some ideas for you, too.

Create a Sign to display in your window or on your lawn that promotes Peace, Social Justice, that supports equality for all lives, particularly those whose lives are marginalized in our society.
Join (or create) a group to embrace and embody Anti-Racism and Social Justice as you move into activism around how to end the divide.
Join the Peaceful Protestors and be Peacefully Intolerant
Read books to educate yourself on racism, especially if you’re white. Ibram X. Kendi, How to be an Anti-Racist, is a great place to start, as well as Non-Violent Communication by Marshall Rosenberg.
Write to your state’s leaders, your governors, your congressman, or even to The White House.
Sign a variety of petitions honoring the #BlackLivesMatter movement.
Watch the film Just Mercy.
Support Owners of Black Owned Bookstores.

Back to joy. If it’s true that our joy leads to our purpose, then I want to focus on what brings me joy. Beauty. Nature. Space. Writing. My daughter. Yoga. Practicing compassion. Empathy. Deep Listening. Connection. Health. As I type this, here’s my view, and it brings me joy.

What brings you joy? What connects you to you? When I invited you to close your eyes earlier, what joyful memories sparked in you? Do more of that! I hope you’ll join me in using *YOUR* voice, to step into what matters most to you.

I hope you’ll be Joyously Outraged and Peacefully Intolerant of what you’ll no longer accept when you see injustices. Here’s a quote that reminds us that an injustice anywhere is injustice everywhere.

“Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter.” Martin Luther King, Jr.

I’ll be launching an online series on Compassion, Listening and Empathy, a way to Connect You to You. If you’re not already in my community and want to be notified of upcoming workshops, talks or events, join my community here.

I’m grateful to have you as part of my tribe. Until we meet again…

~Chris

By Christine Gipple|2020-06-07T16:43:00-04:00June 7th, 2020|Uncategorized|0 Comments

Pretending, Avoidance & Addiction – 5 Questions to Navigate Change

It’s 2005. I’m sitting in circle with 15 women and the discussion is being led my long term mentor, Cheryl Richardson, who asks the question, “What are you pretending?” Each woman answers in turn. When it comes to me, my answer surprises me. I respond with, “I’m pretending that my life is OK when it isn’t.” Thirteen years and a 12-year old daughter later, my answer is similar. This time though, there’s a slight but significant variation with my response. This time, I’m not hiding in my discontent. This time I’m not hoping things around me will change. This time, I’m changing me.

Getting Unstuck…

How many times do you stay stuck in situations you don’t love? You tolerate them; you pray; you wish for the people or the situation to change; you hope someone will see your perspective; or you hope the other person will “step-up” to communicate with you in a way that fills your need for connection and attention. Then, when none of this happens, you stay in the same spiral of disconnect within yourself, ruminating over details and data, living in the same circumstances, wearing a façade of acceptance. Pretending.

When we choose to stay, in anything that’s less than what we desire or require, we must ask ourselves what we’re getting by not making the changes we know we need to make. We must acknowledge that we’re getting something or we wouldn’t do it. Some need is being met, some benefit is coming from our action or we wouldn’t continue with the same pattern or behavior.

So what are you getting by not changing what you know you need to change?

Do you get to avoid discomfort? Do you avoid exposure of a truth that’s too embarrassing for you, or that you think is too upsetting for others to hear? Or maybe you get to tell yourself, it’s for “the kids?” Let me clue you in. The kids know what’s going on anyway. You’re not sparing them any pain by staying in a situation you’d rather not be in. They see the upset, the disconnection, the hugs that aren’t happening, the conversations being avoided, the looks not being exchanged. Even if they’re little, they sense it energetically.

Perhaps you get to stay on auto-pilot. You get to do what’s familiar. You get to stay in your routines and habits which feels safer and more secure than changing. You get to avoid feeling pain. You get to numb out. You get to say you “have to” do whatever it is, and you continue to not think, not feel, not process what’s really happening around you. Maybe you get to not have to do the work in your relationships. Or maybe you get to hide in your addictions.

Addictions

Addictions show up in all of us, not just in those drawn to alcohol or drugs. We are addicted to alcohol, books, clutter, computer games, drugs, education, exercise, food, learning, Netflix, people, porn, sex, shopping, strategies, work, or even the recovery process. Our addictions allow us to numb out and avoid the pain we don’t want to feel.

The strategy is avoidance. The payoff is we get temporary relief by avoiding the pain of change.

What’s the cost of avoiding making the changes you need to make?

Costs of our Avoidance

Maybe it’s disconnection to those you really care about, drama, emotional pain and turmoil, physical pain in your body like arthritis, auto-immune disorders, colds, migraines, cancer or any multitude of other manifestations. Whether it’s ruminating negative thoughts that dominate your choices and behaviors, one thing is certain. We can be sure that our bodies will detox pain however they can. They’ll take us out when we need to reset – I’ve learned this first hand more than once. In physical form, unprocessed pain might come out as disease. Emotionally, unprocessed pain is likely to come out sideways through our toxic behaviors and patterns having the potential to destroy relationships. The question becomes, what are you willing to do about it?

Pain…

Here’s the deal. We all feel pain. We all feel sadness and despair at some point in our lives. No one is spared from pain or change.. Change is the one constant we can depend on.

Change can feel hard and scary and messy.

Change brings up anger, discomfort, discord, fear, resentment, and vulnerability. Even if you like change, it’s still awkward, especially when we don’t know what’s on the other side.

While I love ritual and routine, I also love freedom and spontaneity, so at times I feel in conflict with my own needs. In the past I’ve seen myself pass by opportunities out of fear, and I’ve jumped impulsively into a heartfelt YES without knowing where it was taking me. I’ve experienced situations where anything was better than were I was, so I jumped into the unknown trusting I’d be held in the uncertainty.

Life can be feel hard and impossible sometimes. These past few months, I’ve learned when I show up as vulnerable and real, unseen doors open that allow more growth and more healing. I’m learning to trust myself and speak my truths, even if it means people might leave, or not like me, and even if my words might land in someone else in a way I didn’t intend. How my words land isn’t my responsibility, how I deliver them is. I can only control my presence in which I offer myself.

You might be surprised at how others show up FOR you when you show up AS YOU.

My invitation to you is this: Stop pretending your life is ok if it isn’t. Speak your truth. Say what you feel. Ask for what you need. Take off your mask.

Action Challenge:

This week, take 5 minutes to close your eyes and ask yourself these five (5) questions.

Where are you hiding?
What are you pretending?
What’s one change you’d like to have made 3 months from now?
What’s one doable, small, achievable and realistic thing you can do this week, to take a step toward that change?
Are you willing to make this commitment to yourself? If so, when?

Did you like this article and challenge? Let me know what shifted as a result of this challenge or even just from reading this article. I love hearing from you. Email me here, or leave a message in the comments below.

Sending you so much love…

xo

Chris

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By Christine Gipple|2018-12-15T22:55:03-05:00December 15th, 2018|Uncategorized|3 Comments

When you don’t recognize yourself, it’s time for a [RESET]

Today, I had a brief, but intense conversation with someone, after which I found myself blurring around a wooded path like Jason Bourne on amphetamines. I’d crossed my own line, again.

After replaying the conversation in my head, I thought, “Who WAS that?”, and I was referring to myself. I made a request that immediately left me with regret, and in retrospect I knew if the same was asked of me, if I’d had the same information this person had at the time of my request, I may have responded with confusion too.

If communication feels confusing (or infuriating!) during this Mercury retrograde, I’m right there with you. Perhaps life feels like it’s unraveling, turning you upside down and you can’t seem to get a grip, or maybe you’ve left your house without your keys or something critical you needed, or you blew through a red light or turned the wrong way down a street you’re on every day. During this retrograde, take the time to slow down, give yourself the gift of breathing. Mercury is the planet that rules communication and when it’s retrograde, you can expect the unexpected.

I’ve made a whirlwind of choices and decisions this past month that left me second guessing, doubting myself, and not paying attention to my own needs, boundaries, and desires. I’ve been in reaction mode, and ignoring my intuition, not making conscious choices.

Today was my final catapult back to me, and to trusting myself. The retrograde is a time for reflection, and it brings up stuff to be healed. I don’t need to be an astrologer to know when it’s in retrograde – my body and my emotional state reminds me, if I’m paying attention. And I realized I haven’t been paying attention.

I’ve been spreading myself thin, running from one activity to another, not handling priorities that needed to be handled, and have been reactive to emotions that have been overflowing in me. Though my sun sign is a Capricorn, my rising sign is Scorpio and, somehow, I know that’s adding some intensity to what’s already here.

When you notice you’re on auto-pilot, you’re showing up in ways you don’t even recognize, you’re hearing words escape your mouth that you immediately regret, be gentle with yourself.

The real “gifts” of a retrograde, any retrograde are to remind us to slow down. So, give yourself a little extra compassion. Know that you can reset. You can always reset.

Every moment is another opportunity to connect within.

I’m going to take my own advice.

I’m pressing the big fat PAUSE button.

By Christine Gipple|2018-12-15T19:38:00-05:00November 20th, 2018|Uncategorized|0 Comments

Feelings & Needs – Part I [PLUS: FREE RESOURCE]

What if I said it’s possible not only to get your needs met, but to also meet the needs and desires of those around you, without sacrificing your own values or desires? Would you think it’s possible? Would you want some insight as to how?

Here’s the thing. We all want connection. We all want to be heard, to feel valued, to know we matter, and be seen. The essence of Non-violent communication (NVC) is peaceful resolution to conflict. It’s understanding that we all have needs, and all human needs are universal.

FACT: Every action we take, and every choice we make is an attempt to fulfill a need.

Let me repeat that….. E V E R Y A C T I O N we take, and every choice we make is an attempt to meet a need.

So wouldn’t it make sense that in order to get our needs met, it’s essential to first name what they are? It sounds simple, but if you’re not accustomed to tuning in, to checking in with your body, with your emotions, with your own desires FIRST, it can feel impossible to name the actual need under your behavior or action. The link I’m sharing has 3 FREE lists: feelings, needs, and body sensations. It’s available for free download here. Once you click on the link, you can choose which list you want to download, or download all three. You can use these lists to help you connect to what’s going on inside you when you’re having difficulty naming the emotion or need. If you’d like to take it a step further, check out this feelings and needs card deck. When you click on the link, it’s the very first option shown. Consider these new tools for your Life Toolbox. (Disclaimer: I’m not an affiliate for NVC. While I do teach, live and practice this way of living, I’m simply sharing this resource. I was introduced to NVC more than a decade ago, and it was a game changer in the way our family interacted and how I approached life in general.)

WHEN we use the Feelings & Needs Card Deck:

When meltdowns feel imminent
If we miss the intuitive hits and meltdowns happen, these cards are a great way to connect from a place of love, of true desire to connect in a way that all needs are considered and valued.
As a way to connect to what’s going on inside you when you’re having difficulty naming the need
If one of us is feeling really off, tense, or irritable and unable to communicate.
Or if we desire deeper connection and want to enrich our experience with one another.

HOW we use the Feelings & Needs Card Deck:

We’ll simply lay out the cards, feelings first, and we’ll each pick our cards, in silence. When we have all our cards, we then remove that deck, and lay the other cards, the needs. We choose what’s most alive for us from this deck, again in silence, and then one person chooses to share first. While one person is sharing, we listen with silent empathy. We simply witness and listen to what’s being said. Note: This is just ONE way we use the cards, not “the only” way to use them. 😉 (Once, when I was overwhelmed with a lot of emotional attachment and charge, I used the cards to help me get clarity in writing someone a letter.)

If something is burning inside us and we’d like to respond, we ask permission. We don’t shout out our thoughts or project our reactions when someone else is sharing. We share with reflective listening.

Clarifying questions can be helpful to encourage someone to tune in deeper to what they need, but I encourage you to be clear of your intentions and agendas before asking questions. This isn’t for us to fix, diagnose, or decide for anyone else.

Are you thinking, “this is too much work!”?

I’ll admit that in the moment, it does take more time, energy, patience, and willingness. And…In the long run, it saves time, energy, patience and creates more willingness, because this practice of tuning in creates space for everyone to feel heard, which sometimes is all we need to be able to move forward in our day or life..

May you find peace, happiness, health and all of life’s blessings this holiday season.

With love,

Chris

P.S. If you’d like to follow my blog and receive my newsletter on simplifying, letting go and creating more ease, you can do that here .

By Christine Gipple|2018-01-07T01:57:48-05:00December 17th, 2017|Uncategorized|0 Comments

Soul Space Decluttering

Soul Space…

Spaces where you find what you want when you want it.

Where you have what you need at your fingertips.

Space to think, to be, to feel, to connect.

To feel alive, to breathe deeply, have restful sleep, connect with yourself, and those you love.

To realign with what matters most…

Three of my core values are for Order, Ease and Simplicity.

When those needs are met, I’m calm, present, connected. I’m aligned. It’s easy to follow through on commitments, take action toward what I want, to say yes when I mean yes, and no when I mean no when my actions are internally aligned with my values and needs.

One way for us to stay aligned is to consistently reevaluate what we keep.

So yesterday I did a challenge (Link at end) to Declutter 100 items in less than an hour. The intent of this challenge is to set your timer for 60 minutes and go room to room gathering 10 items, 20 items etc, from each space until you have 100. You don’t stop until the timer goes off, or until you have 100.

I didn’t do it the same way as recommended, not by design totally. My somewhat OCD self – not really, but kinda – needed to have order amidst the self-induced clutter clearing challenge.

I started in my kitchen. And stayed there for 60 minutes. I cleaned, wiped, and organized as I decluttered – not part of the challenge. When the timer went off, I wasn’t done, nor did I have 100 items. So I set it for another 30 minutes, and this time stopped cleaning, organizing and wiping, kinda. I really am “Monica” from Friends, so it’s my own niche to clean, sort & organize as I go. But I did make it out of my kitchen, and into my bathroom. This time, when the timer went off, I had 160 items total and I even managed to find two missing items that had fallen underneath a drawer and were laying at the bottom of a cabinet. So 90 minutes, 160 items, not too bad. Still, I’ll redo the challenge and do it as designed.

There’s two lessons here: 1) it’s so easy to throw ourselves off track, and 2) it’s just as easy to bring us back when we have focus, awareness and intention.

Ease. Order. Simplicity. Life isn’t always easy, orderly, and it’s certainly not always simple. Which is why it’s critical to create soul spaces in your home, and habits. Self-care, yoga, working out, eating well – whatever it is that nurtures you and keeps you feeling connected and alive – that’s what needs to be in your daily rituals.

So where do you need to create more space? Is there a certain room? A certain spot within a room? Maybe a specific relationship needs a clear boundary in place? Maybe your mind wishes for quiet so you can actually hear your own thoughts and inner desires? What’s on your wish list? Your #50Desires?

Does this sound fun to you? The idea is to create incentive to let go, and to have fun in the process. Hop on over to https://bemorewithless.com/decluttering-burst/ for Courtney Carver’s Declutter 100 Items in Less than an Hour Challenge. Let me know what happened for you. 🙂 #bemorewithless, #100DeclutterChallenge.

Enjoy the process. Life’s too short to stress over our stuff. Learn to let it go!

Sending love,

Chris

xo

By Christine Gipple|2017-08-20T17:37:09-04:00August 20th, 2017|Uncategorized|0 Comments