Crave Less (when the default is to accumulate more)

The older I get, the more space I crave.

Space to think, to be, to breathe, to process, to simply exist.

Yet, it’s a theme for me to continually hear myself say, “I want less.” “I need less.” Still.

My old pattern is to do more, achieve more, and to move at lightning speed. Even if my body doesn’t move at lightning speed, my mind typically does. I plan, arrange, organize, and categorize ideas and tasks in my mind before I even get out of bed!

Craving less means I consciously choose less clutter around me, less food in my body, less commitments in my calendar, and less (aka no) toxicity in relationships. In exchange, I’m more connected to what matters most, and I make mindful choices about what I DO want.

Back in the 90’s, my husband and I rented our first vacation spot in the Pocono Mountains: a raised rancher with a sun-room, floor-to-ceiling windows framed in oak, ceramic floors, and completely surrounded by trees. I felt nurtured, connected to myself, and could have stayed there the entire time and been content.

Our “thing” back then was to shop. We had a saying that my husband would “Shop until I dropped.” Even then, I wasn’t into the consumption scene. But I did it because it was part of “our vacation” and something he loved to do. I also felt the instant gratification that came from our purchases, which was another theme for me. I’d run on the high that came from accumulation of things –in the moment. Only to realize later, it was an unconscious pattern to distract, rather than a conscious choice to consume.

Most of those purchases have since been sold at yard sales or given away. Though we did keep a few choice favorites, like this painting below. It depicts a woman sitting solo in meditation, silhouetted in gold, and still brings me peace and a reminder to ground from within.

As I started to crave less, I simultaneously wanted less inner-clutter. I spent a few decades exploring and befriending old beliefs, habits, and patterns that were ingrained in me from childhood. I replaced them with a mindset that focused on my core values and emotions and then took action on the things that I “said” I wanted.

Because here’s the thing. We might say we want something but then find ourselves taking actions that are in direct opposition to the things we say we want. A simple example might be saying you want to exercise, but you find yourself watching Netflix instead of creating space in your calendar to work out. This can happen because of unconscious programming that we’re not even aware of.

Here’s some benefits of Craving Less…

By craving less, I have more:

  • Space for experiences that fill me up, like yoga, meditation, learning, walking, being in nature, writing, reading and nurturing meaningful connections.
  • Flexibility to choose who I work with and when because I’ve eliminated the things that don’t work.
  • Gratitude for the things and relationships I do have vs. what focusing on what others have.
  • Capacity to live with less in some areas because of opportunities that arise in other areas.
  • Energy to keep going when things feel challenging because I’ve removed distractions (physical or emotional)!
  • Money in my pocket because I’m more deliberate and mindful of every choice I make.

And I’m acutely aware that these are choices I make from a place of privilege. Privilege and long, hard work to get to this point in my life.

I’m deeply impacted by my physical and emotional environment, so it’s critical to my mental well-being to keep things simple.

In essence, I need 3 things: Order, Ease and Simplicity. When I have order, I feel ease, and when I feel ease, my life feels simple. Simplicity brings me into balance and alignment with my truest self. The way for me to get here is to consistently assess and release what no longer serves as I evolve and grow.

This goes for my home, my car, my office, my relationships and my calendar. When I’m over-cluttered and over-committed, it’s challenging to make conscious choices because I don’t have clarity.

Most of the clients I work with are similar. Even if they say they love having a lot of stuff around them, or, “They are OK with the status quo”, there’s often a delightful exhale that happens when they remove the outdated excess in their life. This includes habits, patterns, beliefs, jobs, homes, and even relationships that no longer feel balanced or reciprocal.

Today is Feb 18th, 2025 and I’m curious, What are you craving today? What do you crave less of? What do you crave more of? Is there anything you told yourself you’d start or do, but you haven’t yet begun?

Before you click away, think about what it might feel like to achieve the thing you say you want? Imagine that you’ve started…how do you feel?

Just marinate in that feeling because that feeling just may be the catalyst that supports you to take the action you need to make it happen.

Interested in exploring this together, or just want to connect and say hello, simply reply here. I’d love to hear from you!

By |2025-02-18T22:40:24-05:00February 18th, 2025|Uncategorized|0 Comments

3 Tips to Keep Your Boundaries in Check

Setting Boundaries can be uncomfortable.  But not setting them can create havoc.

Hold onto your Boundaries because 2022 is Yang Tiger Water Energy!

My friend, Karen Alber Carrasco, wrote this great article and I had to share it!  It’s called, 2022 Tiger Wave: Surfing with the Yang Water Tiger. What struck me was the importance of keeping our boundaries in place, especially after the past two years of up-leveling our lives as we created, and re-created, ourselves to be in alignment with our values.

The past two years were ruled by the metal element, and metal represents details, the fine print, analysis of what is working, and what isn’t. Think of really getting inside the box and critiquing every detail.  That requires metal energy.

This year’s element is water. And with water, things can become dark and murky, confusing, or uncertain. Think about decisions you made when you weren’t clear, when your choices weren’t an absolute yes.  I imagine those particular choices might have brought about an unwanted result.  Yes?

That’s why being clear on our boundaries becomes critical.  The thing is, a lot of us may not even know what our boundaries are, let alone being able to hold them in place.

3 Tips to Keep Your Boundaries In Check:

  • First, Have a self-honoring practice or ritual in place – this is for you and only you.  Whether it’s meditating, writing, exercising, knitting, taking a hot bath once a week, etc. Find what connects you to you.
    • When you take the time to self-connect, your choices will be in alignment with what feels true and right for you, in each moment.
  • Second, before making a choice – any choice – check in with yourself and ask yourself these questions:  
    • What do I want? 
    • What do I need?  
    • How do I feel? 
    • What do I think? 
    • Because when we are coming from a place of knowing how we feel, and what we need, we are more likely to have our needs met, which allows us to make clear requests of someone else.   Its when we haven’t taken the time to figure out what we want and need that things get murky.
    • And this year’s Yang Tiger Water energy will be powerful and passionate, and has the potential to uproot us if we’re not firmly planted in our own boundary foundation.
  • Third, and this might be hard to hear, but I’m going to invite you to embrace being ‘selfish.’  I know selfish gets a bad wrap because of old programming of what not to be.  However, when we put everyone else’s needs before our own, we swing to the other side of the pendulum to self-less, and end up feeling obligated and resentful.  This reminds me of Marshall Rosenberg’s poem, The Hungry Duck, where the intention is strive to give from a place of willingness, vs. obligation.


As the first month of 2022 is almost behind us, and this new water energy is upon us, I encourage you to pay attention to your needs, your wants, your desires, and make sure you feet are planted firmly in your own personal boundaries.

Have a question or comment?   Reach out to me here.

You can find upcoming events here.  There are only a few spots left for the Feb 5th Grok Party, where we play games with Grok Cards to connect more deeply to our own emotions and needs.   And, registration for my group boundary coaching program will be opening soon.  🙂

Wishing you clarity and courage to choose YOU!

Love,
Chris

If you know of someone that would appreciate this newsletter, please share it with them. 🙂

By |2022-01-28T13:52:12-05:00January 28th, 2022|Uncategorized|0 Comments
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