resistance Archives - Life Coaching by Christine Gipple

Retrogrades, Relationships & Resetting Priorities

Are the retrogrades messing with your relationships? Do you feel like you and your partner might actually be on different planets?

Considering six, yes, SIX planets are in retrograde right now, it’s a good time to press pause on the panic button.

So what exactly is happening?

Right now, Mercury, Mars, Jupiter, Neptune, Saturn & Pluto are in retrograde. In a retrograde, things come up for review, processing, digesting and completing. It’s a time for tying up loose ends and details, and not necessarily a time to start a slew of new projects. You’re invited to complete those incompletions once and for all. When one planet is in retrograde, we can feel off, rushed, like things are more out of control than we’d like, but when six are in retrograde, it’s even more important to pause.

Even if you don’t believe in astrology, it may be hard for you to ignore some of the events that have been transpiring for the past few months. Things might feel more amped up or intensified than usual.

Personally, I’ve found it increasingly difficult to feel productive, clear, to stay on task with projects, or to have any type of communication with my partner that doesn’t end with us walking away frustrated and frazzled, and feeling unheard.

Here’s a little scoop on each of the planets and how they might be affecting you:

Mercury Retrograde – (6/26 to 8/19/18) Since Mercury is the ruler of communication, it’s definitely a great time to double check details. Have a spare key in your wallet, fill your gas tank, check your oil and fluids in your car, make sure you have a few bucks cash on you, etc. Just the other day, I walked out of the house without my keys, left the house with $1 in my wallet, and got to a show without tickets I already purchased, and it was “cash only” at the door. (Thankfully, I had a spare key in my wallet, and the girl at the desk knew and trusted me when I told her I purchased tickets, and she let me in.)
Mars Retrograde (6/26 to 8/27/18) When Mars is direct, we typically can communicate more clearly, take direct decisive action and more fully trust ourselves. But when in retrograde, we can doubt, not trust our instincts, and internalize emotions and events, feeling more pressure. Be gentle with yourself if you need more rest than usual, if you need more time to think about things and process what’s happening around you. Good self-care is critical right now. Here’s a little more on the Mars Retrograde.
Jupiter Retrograde – (3/9 to 7/10/18) Consider this to be the Yin/Yang for change. Change can be scary, especially when we don’t see it coming, yet, change is often the very thing we need to get us to our next level. Since everything is energy, and energy is always changing, it makes sense to surrender a bit and go with the flow. With Jupiter in intense Scorpio, you may experience your own upleveling so just observe what’s here for you, change what you can, and let go of what you cannot. There’s no rule that says change has to be painful.
Pluto Retrograde – (4/22 to 9/30/18) Pluto is all about looking at what needs to be healed, what’s lurking beneath what’s really going on, and what needs to be transformed. Pluto is the peeling back of our subconscious layers. Since retrogrades are a review of the past events, when Pluto is in retrograde, we’re invited to look at all those subconscious behaviors, shadow beliefs, choices, and patterns that are calling us to change. You may feel challenged beyond your comfort zone. That’s ok. It’s a time of review. So, Review, Re-Evaluate and if needed, Re-direct your energy and focus.
Saturn Retrograde – (4/18 to 9/6/18) As a Cappy (Capricorn), this is my ruling planet. Saturn is all about perseverance, tenacity and growth, and setting things right on the karmic path. What we put out is what we get back, so this lesson is amplified during a retrograde. We’re given the opportunity to really set things right if we’ve been off course.
Neptune Retrograde (6/19 to 9/26/18) Emotions may seem to be too intense for you right now. Neptune is one of the rulers of Pisces, a water sign that can be emotionally charged. During a retrograde, and especially if this happens to be your ruling planet or your rising sign, you may feel a bit more pressure to dive into the uncomfortable waters of the unknown. Trust. Stay with it. There’s growth here. If you feel the urge to run from this intensity, understand what’s here for you is an invitation to go a little deeper to resolve what’s been hidden. It’s also an excellent time to call on your creativity and intuition which may feel heightened. Trust your gut by going within and making the changes you need to make.

Action Challenge:

Two steps to prepare yourself physically and emotionally during the retrograde

Take 20 minute power naps to reset yourself as you need to. I can hear you saying, “But I don’t have 20 minutes….”, so I challenge you…Instead of surfing social media for 20 minutes, or eating when you’re not hungry, or starting a “conversation” with your partner when you’re already tired or spent, excuse yourself. Set your phone timer for 20 minutes and nap. I guarantee you’ll feel a new perspective when you re-engage. Just notice if you start to spiral, if you’re not breathing, or if you feel particularly uneasy with the changes happening around you. If so, nap, nap, nap. Every day. 20 minutes. And let me know what shifts you notice.
Take Action with any or all of these. Put an extra spare key in your wallet. Allow plenty of time for travel. Double and triple check details before clicking “send”. Have back up directions printed before going on the road to a new destination. Make sure you have at least $5 to $10 in your wallet of cash before leaving your house. Charge your phone or devices before leaving the house. Purchase a charger for your car and keep it there. Press the mental pause button before replying to a heated conversation. Let go of something you’ve been holding onto (a grudge, a personal belonging, an issue that’s causing you anguish, a belief that’s not serving).

Leave a comment below or email me telling me what you did, and what happened as a result. 🙂

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Until next time, Press Pause on the panic button. Breathe. And trust. You’re right where you need to be.

x’s and o’s

Chris

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Want to learn more about this particular retrograde cycle? You can do that here and here.

By Christine Gipple|2018-07-01T21:53:59-04:00July 1st, 2018|Uncategorized|0 Comments

Avoiding the spiral of mental chatter ♥

We did a street-long yard sale yesterday, and after the sale I noticed myself engaging in mental chatter about lost time. I spent time prepping for it, organizing it, physically being at the sale, then packing up the remainders for the various charities that will receive them. Then this morning, I woke with similar thoughts on how this sale took time away from other things that needed to happen, but thankfully, I shifted quickly.

Truth is, yes, it did take time, and, the items are gone, which was my goal. Our intentions were to make this our last sale, to have fun with family and neighbors, and to let my daughter have a lemonade stand with her friend. We released unneeded belongings, and created space for things and activities we do want!

So if my goals were met, why the constant inner banter about what I could’ve been doing instead of the sale? Because my to-do list is reallllly long and my mind chatter never stops. I desire order, ease, and simplicity. Letting go brings me these things, and it also takes work for me to get them. As much as I love to feel at ease, to have order, and for life to be simple, I need the structures in place to have those things. I also need good boundaries around my time.

How about you? Does your mental to-do list overwhelm you and stop you from achieving what you say you want to do? How do you move forward when mental chatter is in overdrive?

Here’s 3 things to do when mental chatter is spinning you into overwhelm.

#1 Start…Something. Pick one thing and just start. It doesn’t have to be perfect, and it mostly won’t be, but the act of movement will motivate you to keep going. This morning, I considered my mental list, wrote out all that I wanted to get done, then narrowed it down to what was most important, and what would feel most productive by simply being started. I slotted myself a specific amount of time and when that time was up, I stopped and moved on with my day. I’m putting time and attention to my priorities, which feels gratifying, energizing, and productive.

#2 Ask for help. I woke this morning mentally listing out all that needs to happen today, and the reality is my husband will be gone all afternoon, so it’s all on me. In order for me to accomplish everything we need to make our home happy today and this week, I need help. So I asked.

#3 Receive the help. This may sound silly and obvious, but sometimes we can ask for the help, then when it comes, we find we’re still doing all the work anyway. Give up the need for things to be perfect, and allow the support to be there for you. Example: My husband was grabbing some raised beds from Home Depot for me while I worked this morning. He texted me photos with questions, and I couldn’t decide which one was best, plus I needed netting and wasn’t sure which kind. I almost told him, “Never mind; I’ll run out later and get it.” I wasn’t trusting that what we’ll get is fine, and we’ll work with it. Instead I was thinking I needed to physically go there to pick it out. I quickly caught myself, and chose to receive the help, letting it be enough so I can move on with my priorities.

These three things can catapult you into action, and give you the space and ease you need to feel productive and less stressed.

Here’s the thing. We, particularly as women, are often the bus drivers in our home. We drive the bus. We’re responsible to maintain the bus with gas, oil, repairs, etc. We create the bus schedule, and we make sure all the riders get where they need to go, on time, and they have what they need upon arrival to their destination. That’s a lot to hold, and often we fall off our own schedule.

Today, when mental overwhelm takes over, try these three things of #1, starting one thing, #2, asking for help and #3, receiving the help. If you’re like me, your list is longer than you can do in a physical day, yet your Superwoman cape is probably pressed and ready to go! 🙂 Use this as an invitation to start something, drop the cape, and ask for (and receive) help. You’ll be surprised at what can happen.

A 4th bonus step is to find the gold in the event that has you spinning into overwhelm. My gold nugget from the yard sale yesterday was meeting a tow truck driver who offered to look at my 20 year old car that runs awesome, but needs an AC unit. After looking at it, he told me it looks like an easy fix, (where my mechanic told me it wasn’t worth fixing), it shouldn’t cost much, and he referred me to guy that’s local! Gold! ♥

How about you? What’s one thing you’re going to do this week after reading this? How are you going to use your spiral to inspire you, instead of sabotage you?

Tell me below or get in touch here.

Until next time, my friend, put a practice in place that allows you to push that overwhelm to the curb and just start what you don’t want to start.

x’s and o’s,

Chris

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P.S. Sharing is Caring – if you know someone who would benefit from reading this, please share!

By Christine Gipple|2018-05-07T01:12:48-04:00May 6th, 2018|Uncategorized|0 Comments

Feelings & Needs – Part I [PLUS: FREE RESOURCE]

What if I said it’s possible not only to get your needs met, but to also meet the needs and desires of those around you, without sacrificing your own values or desires? Would you think it’s possible? Would you want some insight as to how?

Here’s the thing. We all want connection. We all want to be heard, to feel valued, to know we matter, and be seen. The essence of Non-violent communication (NVC) is peaceful resolution to conflict. It’s understanding that we all have needs, and all human needs are universal.

FACT: Every action we take, and every choice we make is an attempt to fulfill a need.

Let me repeat that….. E V E R Y A C T I O N we take, and every choice we make is an attempt to meet a need.

So wouldn’t it make sense that in order to get our needs met, it’s essential to first name what they are? It sounds simple, but if you’re not accustomed to tuning in, to checking in with your body, with your emotions, with your own desires FIRST, it can feel impossible to name the actual need under your behavior or action. The link I’m sharing has 3 FREE lists: feelings, needs, and body sensations. It’s available for free download here. Once you click on the link, you can choose which list you want to download, or download all three. You can use these lists to help you connect to what’s going on inside you when you’re having difficulty naming the emotion or need. If you’d like to take it a step further, check out this feelings and needs card deck. When you click on the link, it’s the very first option shown. Consider these new tools for your Life Toolbox. (Disclaimer: I’m not an affiliate for NVC. While I do teach, live and practice this way of living, I’m simply sharing this resource. I was introduced to NVC more than a decade ago, and it was a game changer in the way our family interacted and how I approached life in general.)

WHEN we use the Feelings & Needs Card Deck:

When meltdowns feel imminent
If we miss the intuitive hits and meltdowns happen, these cards are a great way to connect from a place of love, of true desire to connect in a way that all needs are considered and valued.
As a way to connect to what’s going on inside you when you’re having difficulty naming the need
If one of us is feeling really off, tense, or irritable and unable to communicate.
Or if we desire deeper connection and want to enrich our experience with one another.

HOW we use the Feelings & Needs Card Deck:

We’ll simply lay out the cards, feelings first, and we’ll each pick our cards, in silence. When we have all our cards, we then remove that deck, and lay the other cards, the needs. We choose what’s most alive for us from this deck, again in silence, and then one person chooses to share first. While one person is sharing, we listen with silent empathy. We simply witness and listen to what’s being said. Note: This is just ONE way we use the cards, not “the only” way to use them. 😉 (Once, when I was overwhelmed with a lot of emotional attachment and charge, I used the cards to help me get clarity in writing someone a letter.)

If something is burning inside us and we’d like to respond, we ask permission. We don’t shout out our thoughts or project our reactions when someone else is sharing. We share with reflective listening.

Clarifying questions can be helpful to encourage someone to tune in deeper to what they need, but I encourage you to be clear of your intentions and agendas before asking questions. This isn’t for us to fix, diagnose, or decide for anyone else.

Are you thinking, “this is too much work!”?

I’ll admit that in the moment, it does take more time, energy, patience, and willingness. And…In the long run, it saves time, energy, patience and creates more willingness, because this practice of tuning in creates space for everyone to feel heard, which sometimes is all we need to be able to move forward in our day or life..

May you find peace, happiness, health and all of life’s blessings this holiday season.

With love,

Chris

P.S. If you’d like to follow my blog and receive my newsletter on simplifying, letting go and creating more ease, you can do that here .

By Christine Gipple|2018-01-07T01:57:48-05:00December 17th, 2017|Uncategorized|0 Comments

Minimalism, Simplicity + Letting Go of Perfectionism

As I make my way toward minimalism, I’m still surprised how resistance shows up so big for me. For years my mantra has been, “Order, Ease, & Simplicity”, and in that order. When I have order, it brings me ease, and when I have ease, my life is simple.

Sounds simple right? It can be. And yet, we complicate our lives more than we need to.

We hold on. We resist. We deny. We blame someone or something else so we don’t have to look at our own stuff, our own issues.

Because here’s the deal. Letting go isn’t about the thing, person, or situation we’re letting go of. It’s about the emotional attachment that the experience or memory has brought us –including difficult or negative memories.

Letting go is a process.

One of the most difficult things for me to let go of is books. Especially books that my daughter and I have read together. I can recall all our snuggles, cozying up for all our daily ritualistic reading times – wake-up reading, pre-nap reading, post-nap reading, bedtime reading, or just middle of the day reading. I can still hear her little voice bursting out when we’d get to a specific page, and I can hear my own inflections as I read certain books. I fantasize about reading those same books to her children when she’s older.

Maybe that will happen. Maybe not.

Life can change in a split second. We have little control over when we leave here or how. I mean, we do. And we don’t.

In an attempt to keep life simple, I started a book buying ban in August, and created a Little Free Library. I’ve wanted to create one of these libraries for years, and to keep me accountable with the lifestyle I want to live, the book ban felt necessary.

The perfectionist in me wants to tell you I have it all figured out, and I have this letting-go piece down. That I can live as a pure minimalist with only what I need. But that’s not true. I, too, am in process. I’m working my way there. I have my own demons, resistance and challenges, just like you.

What is true is this: I’ve learned to love and respect what I choose to keep. I’ve learned to only keep what I love. When adding something to my home or life, I’ve learned to ask myself if what I’m bringing in adds value, not just to my life, but to all of our lives that live in our home. As far as resistance, I’ve learned to do one thing – just one thing – instead of letting my mind spin out of control when I feel overwhelmed with too much stuff, too much to do, or too many obligations. I pause. I do one thing that I CAN do, then another, then another -not 10 things at once.

What matters is substance, connection, relating deeply to those I love. What I know for sure is clutter gets in the way. Mental, emotional, and physical clutter blocks us from the very thing we say we want. The funny thing about resistance is that it takes so much of our energy to resist, deny, not look at, or avoid something we need to do, or not do.

The truth is, if we channeled our energy into doing the very thing we’re resisting, we’d create more space, more openness, and more connection with ourselves, and those we love.

On this cold Sunday in December, after our first snowfall of the season, I’m going to honor my own resistance today and take control over what I can, which is planning my work week while my husband and daughter are enjoying some much needed daddy-daughter time. How about you? What’s one thing you can do today to honor yourself where you are?

Blessings to you!

xo

P.S. If you’d like to follow my blog and receive my newsletter on simplifying, letting go and creating more ease, you can do that here .

By Christine Gipple|2018-01-07T01:58:56-05:00December 10th, 2017|Uncategorized|0 Comments

[Stop Crossing Your Own Line!] Are you staying when you need to leave?

Are you staying in a job, relationship, or situation you should’ve left a long time ago?

Have you received intuitive hits, inner nudges, or had dreams about the situation, and ignored them?

I call it crossing my own line.

I can tell you what NOT to do.

Don’t stay when everything in you knows it’s not what you need, and not aligned with your values.

Don’t cross your own line.

That’s exactly what I did in 2015. I stayed in a job that crossed my line in every way. Employees talked behind people’s backs, bosses screamed at employees or other bosses, and there was no one I felt I could trust. Yet, I stayed. For the first time since having my daughter 8 years prior, I felt financial ease, and I liked it.

That financial ease came at a cost. In April 2015, I fell at work permanently changing my physical health.

I ignored my own voice. I ignored those inner nudges. I was so clouded that I didn’t even see the connection to my intuition until after the fall when I read an older journal entry. In Feb 2015, I’d written about how I was “completely out of alignment with this job and company’s values”. I didn’t listen. Post fall, I was physically out of alignment with a back, knee and hip injury.

A couple shadow beliefs surfaced with this fall. One was that, “I don’t matter”, and I really needed to matter. I told myself a story that if the bosses knew how badly I was hurt, they’d care; they’d make changes to insure no one else got hurt, or at the very least, they’d take precautions so that I wouldn’t get re-injured. But the truth was, they did know and nothing changed.

Another shadow belief was, “I can’t depend on anyone else.” I stayed out of fear. I feared I’d lose my financial freedom if I didn’t have the same income. It’s true my finances would change. But I was living in a state of fear anyway. Everything in my life was different. I couldn’t do my job, yoga, exercise, climb steps, walk, sit for a period of time, or sleep without pain. Nothing in my life was the same. So how much freedom was I really going to lose?

Anger, righteousness and denial were all pieces of this puzzle that it took me the next two years to unravel and let go of. If I’m being honest, I held onto these far longer than I want to admit. Truth was, I chose to stay – even when this company showed me who they were, and I knew it was out of alignment with who I was. I wasn’t making the changes I needed to make, so the universe stepped in to assist, taking me out at the knees.

This is what happens. If we’re not listening, the messages get louder. The whispers become screams. The intuitive hits aren’t so subtle anymore. We repeat patterns by drawing in those exact people, circumstances and situations that will have us play out the exact message we’re refusing to see. Whether it’s a relationship, a job, a boundary issue with someone you love, (or someone you don’t), or disconnection from a partner we’re refusing to see. Solutions come out sideways. Often, the choices would’ve been far easier to just make the change in the first place.

Embrace the conflict.

What’s one core belief you’ve had that hasn’t served you? I’m curious how willing you are to hold onto that belief? Is it serving you? Holding on can be a form of resistance, denial, or anger, or a combination of these things. Do you know your threshold on when it’s time to leave?

Today I invite you to look at your life objectively.

Is there something you need to change? Is there a nagging little voice inside that isn’t going away?

Sending you big love as you walk the path of alignment,

Chris

xo

P.S. If you’d like to follow my blog and receive my newsletter on simplifying, letting go and creating more ease, you can do that here .

By Christine Gipple|2018-01-07T01:59:51-05:00November 26th, 2017|Uncategorized|0 Comments

Resistance – How it shows up and keeps us stuck

A few years back, I had resistance to working with a coach to do some deep work. I had two main fears:

1) What if I surpassed my husband in terms of personal growth, ruining the possibility for us to stay truly “connected”? And,

2) What if I stayed the same? (which in my mind was worse than the first one)

Both of these fears were my resistance. Resistance is simply an unconscious (often self-imposed) defense mechanism that we put in place thinking it’s going to protect us from feeling the hurt, discomfort, pain, anxiety, rejection or whatever it is we don’t want to feel.

Fact is, resistance does the opposite of protecting us from any of those things. Resistance will bind us to the very pain and discomfort we’re trying so hard to avoid.

We often tell ourselves it’s scary to look inside and get to the root of our emotional stories, dramas, or situations, but the truth is, it’s actually scarier not to.

Once you see it, you can transform it. Louise Hay has a great quote, “If you’re going to clean the house, you have to see the dirt.”

You can’t change what you can’t see.

The good news is, once you see the dirt, once you face your resistance and actually DO that thing that scares you, you’re immediately more empowered. Then you can take steps toward your desires. Any small steps toward what you want will slowly dissipate your fear.

Think about something you’ve been wanting to say yes to, or something that’s been on your desires list and you’ve been too afraid to commit to. What can you do this week to move you closer to YES?

Think small, baby steps. Something bite sized and doable. Then do it!

Taking one step can be the catapult you need for big change.

You got this!

Sending you big love….

xo

P.S. If you’d like to follow my blog and receive my newsletter on simplifying, letting go and creating more ease, you can do that here .

By Christine Gipple|2018-01-07T02:00:34-05:00November 19th, 2017|Uncategorized|0 Comments