Avoiding the spiral of mental chatter ♥

We did a street-long yard sale yesterday, and after the sale I noticed myself engaging in mental chatter about lost time.  I spent time prepping for it, organizing it, physically being at the sale, then packing up the remainders for the various charities that will receive them.  Then this morning, I woke with similar thoughts on how this sale took time away from other things that needed to happen, but thankfully, I shifted quickly.

Truth is, yes, it did take time, and, the items are gone, which was my goal.  Our intentions were to make this our last sale, to have fun with family and neighbors, and to let my daughter have a lemonade stand with her friend.  We released unneeded belongings, and created space for things and activities we do want!

So if my goals were met, why the constant inner banter about what I could’ve been doing instead of the sale?  Because my to-do list is reallllly long and my mind chatter never stops.  I desire order, ease, and simplicity.  Letting go brings me these things, and it also takes work for me to get them.  As much as I love to feel at ease, to have order, and for life to be simple, I need the structures in place to have those things.  I also need good boundaries around my time.

How about you?   Does your mental to-do list overwhelm you and stop you from achieving what you say you want to do?   How do you move forward when mental chatter is in overdrive?

Here’s 3 things to do when mental chatter is spinning you into overwhelm.

#1 Start…Something.  Pick one thing and just start.  It doesn’t have to be perfect, and it mostly won’t be, but the act of movement will motivate you to keep going.  This morning, I considered my mental list, wrote out all that I wanted to get done, then narrowed it down to what was most important, and what would feel most productive by simply being started.  I slotted myself a specific amount of time and when that time was up, I stopped and moved on with my day.  I’m putting time and attention to my priorities, which feels gratifying, energizing, and productive.

#2 Ask for help.  I woke this morning mentally listing out all that needs to happen today, and the reality is my husband will be gone all afternoon, so it’s all on me.  In order for me to accomplish everything we need to make our home happy today and this week, I need help.  So I asked.

#3 Receive the help.  This may sound silly and obvious, but sometimes we can ask for the help, then when it comes, we find we’re still doing all the work anyway.  Give up the need for things to be perfect, and allow the support to be there for you.   Example:   My husband was grabbing some raised beds from Home Depot for me while I worked this morning.  He texted me photos with questions, and I couldn’t decide which one was best, plus I needed netting and wasn’t sure which kind.  I almost told him, “Never mind; I’ll run out later and get it.”   I wasn’t trusting that what we’ll get is fine, and we’ll work with it.  Instead I was thinking I needed to physically go there to pick it out.  I quickly caught myself, and chose to receive the help, letting it be enough so I can move on with my priorities.

These three things can catapult you into action, and give you the space and ease you need to feel productive and less stressed.

Here’s the thing.   We, particularly as women, are often the bus drivers in our home.  We drive the bus.  We’re responsible to maintain the bus with gas, oil, repairs, etc.  We create the bus schedule, and we make sure all the riders get where they need to go, on time, and they have what they need upon arrival to their destination. That’s a lot to hold, and often we fall off our own schedule.

Today, when mental overwhelm takes over, try these three things of #1, starting one thing, #2, asking for help and #3, receiving the help.  If you’re like me, your list is longer than you can do in a physical day, yet your Superwoman cape is probably pressed and ready to go!  🙂   Use this as an invitation to start something, drop the cape, and ask for (and receive) help.   You’ll be surprised at what can happen.

A 4th bonus step is to find the gold in the event that has you spinning into overwhelm.   My gold nugget from the yard sale yesterday was meeting a tow truck driver who offered to look at my 20 year old car that runs awesome, but needs an AC unit.  After looking at it, he told me it looks like an easy fix, (where my mechanic told me it wasn’t worth fixing), it shouldn’t cost much, and he referred me to guy that’s local!   Gold!  ♥

How about you?  What’s one thing you’re going to do this week after reading this?   How are you going to use your spiral to inspire you, instead of sabotage you?   

Tell me below or get in touch here.  

Until next time, my friend, put a practice in place that allows you to push that overwhelm to the curb and just start what you don’t want to start.

x’s and o’s,

Chris

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By |2018-05-07T01:12:48-04:00May 6th, 2018|Uncategorized|0 Comments

Minimalism, Simplicity + Letting Go of Perfectionism

As I make my way toward minimalism, I’m still surprised how resistance shows up so big for me. For years my mantra has been, “Order, Ease, & Simplicity”, and in that order.   When I have order, it brings me ease, and when I have ease, my life is simple.

Sounds simple right?  It can be.   And yet, we complicate our lives more than we need to.

We hold on.   We resist.  We deny.  We blame someone or something else so we don’t have to look at our own stuff, our own issues.

Because here’s the deal.   Letting go isn’t about the thing, person, or situation we’re letting go of. It’s about the emotional attachment that the experience or memory has brought us –including difficult or negative memories.

Letting go is a process.

One of the most difficult things for me to let go of is books.   Especially books that my daughter and I have read together.  I can recall all our snuggles, cozying up for all our daily ritualistic reading times – wake-up reading, pre-nap reading, post-nap reading, bedtime reading, or just middle of the day reading.  I can still hear her little voice bursting out when we’d get to a specific page, and I can hear my own inflections as I read certain books.   I fantasize about reading those same books to her children when she’s older.

Maybe that will happen.  Maybe not.

Life can change in a split second.  We have little control over when we leave here or how.  I mean, we do. And we don’t.

In an attempt to keep life simple, I started a book buying ban in August, and created a Little Free Library.  I’ve wanted to create one of these libraries for years, and to keep me accountable with the lifestyle I want to live, the book ban felt necessary.

The perfectionist in me wants to tell you I have it all figured out, and I have this letting-go piece down.  That I can live as a pure minimalist with only what I need.  But that’s not true.   I, too, am in process.  I’m working my way there.  I have my own demons, resistance and challenges, just like you.

What is true is this:  I’ve learned to love and respect what I choose to keep.  I’ve learned to only keep what I love.  When adding something to my home or life, I’ve learned to ask myself if what I’m bringing in adds value, not just to my life, but to all of our lives that live in our home.  As far as resistance, I’ve learned to do one thing – just one thing – instead of letting my mind spin out of control when I feel overwhelmed with too much stuff, too much to do, or too many obligations.  I pause.  I do one thing that I CAN do, then another, then another -not 10 things at once.

What matters is substance, connection, relating deeply to those I love.   What I know for sure is clutter gets in the way.  Mental, emotional, and physical clutter blocks us from the very thing we say we want.  The funny thing about resistance is that it takes so much of our energy to resist, deny, not look at, or avoid something we need to do, or not do.

The truth is, if we channeled our energy into doing the very thing we’re resisting, we’d create more space, more openness, and more connection with ourselves, and those we love.

On this cold Sunday in December, after our first snowfall of the season, I’m going to honor my own resistance today and take control over what I can, which is planning my work week while my husband and daughter are enjoying some much needed daddy-daughter time.   How about you?  What’s one thing you can do today to honor yourself where you are?

Blessings to you!

xo

P.S.  If you’d like to follow my blog and receive my newsletter on simplifying, letting go and creating more ease, you can do that here .  

By |2018-01-07T01:58:56-05:00December 10th, 2017|Uncategorized|0 Comments

Soul Space Decluttering

Soul Space…

Spaces where you find what you want when you want it.

Where you have what you need at your fingertips.

Space to think, to be, to feel, to connect.

To feel alive, to breathe deeply, have restful sleep, connect with yourself, and those you love.

To realign with what matters most…

Three of my core values are for Order, Ease and Simplicity.

When those needs are met, I’m calm, present, connected. I’m aligned.  It’s easy to  follow through on commitments, take action toward what I want, to say yes when I mean yes, and no when I mean no when my actions are internally aligned with my values and needs.

One way for us to stay aligned is to consistently reevaluate what we keep.

So yesterday I did a challenge (Link at end) to Declutter 100 items in less than an hour.   The intent of this challenge is to set your timer for 60 minutes and go room to room gathering 10 items, 20 items etc, from each space until you have 100.   You don’t stop until the timer goes off, or until you have 100.

I didn’t do it the same way as recommended, not by design totally.  My somewhat OCD self – not really, but kinda – needed to have order amidst the self-induced clutter clearing challenge.

I started in my kitchen.   And stayed there for 60 minutes.  I cleaned, wiped, and organized as I decluttered – not part of the challenge.  When the timer went off, I wasn’t done, nor did I have 100 items.  So I set it for another 30 minutes, and this time stopped cleaning, organizing and wiping, kinda.  I really am “Monica” from Friends, so it’s my own niche to clean, sort & organize as I go.   But I did make it out of my kitchen, and into my bathroom.   This time, when the timer went off, I had 160 items total and I even managed to find two missing items that had fallen underneath a drawer and were laying at the bottom of a cabinet.   So 90 minutes, 160 items, not too bad.  Still, I’ll redo the challenge and do it as designed.

There’s two lessons here: 1) it’s so easy to throw ourselves off track, and 2) it’s just as easy to bring us back when we have focus, awareness and intention.

Ease.  Order.  Simplicity.  Life isn’t always easy, orderly, and it’s certainly not always simple.   Which is why it’s critical to create soul spaces in your home, and habits.  Self-care, yoga, working out, eating well – whatever it is that nurtures you and keeps you feeling connected and alive – that’s what needs to be in your daily rituals.

So where do you need to create more space?  Is there a certain room?  A certain spot within a room?  Maybe a specific relationship needs a clear boundary in place?  Maybe your mind wishes for quiet so you can actually hear your own thoughts and inner desires?  What’s on your wish list?  Your #50Desires?

Does this sound fun to you?   The idea is to create incentive to let go, and to have fun in the process.  Hop on over to https://bemorewithless.com/decluttering-burst/ for Courtney Carver’s Declutter 100 Items in Less than an Hour Challenge.  Let me know what happened for you.  🙂 #bemorewithless, #100DeclutterChallenge.

Enjoy the process.  Life’s too short to stress over our stuff.  Learn to let it go!

Sending love,

 

Chris

xo

By |2017-08-20T17:37:09-04:00August 20th, 2017|Uncategorized|0 Comments
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