Are you staying in a job, relationship, or situation you should’ve left a long time ago?

Have you received intuitive hits, inner nudges, or had dreams about the situation, and ignored them?

I call it crossing my own line.

I can tell you what NOT to do.

Don’t stay when everything in you knows it’s not what you need, and not aligned with your values.

Don’t cross your own line.

That’s exactly what I did in 2015.  I stayed in a job that crossed my line in every way.  Employees talked behind people’s backs, bosses screamed at employees or other bosses, and there was no one I felt I could trust.  Yet, I stayed.  For the first time since having my daughter 8 years prior, I felt financial ease, and I liked it.

That financial ease came at a cost. In April 2015, I fell at work permanently changing my physical health.

I ignored my own voice.  I ignored those inner nudges.  I was so clouded that I didn’t even see the connection to my intuition until after the fall when I read an older journal entry.  In Feb 2015, I’d written about how I was “completely out of alignment with this job and company’s values”.  I didn’t listen.  Post fall, I was physically out of alignment with a back, knee and hip injury.

A couple shadow beliefs surfaced with this fall.  One was that, “I don’t matter”, and I really  needed to matter.  I told myself a story that if the bosses knew how badly I was hurt, they’d care; they’d make changes to insure no one else got hurt, or at the very least, they’d take precautions so that I wouldn’t get re-injured.  But the truth was, they did know and nothing changed.

Another shadow belief was, “I can’t depend on anyone else.”    I stayed out of fear. I feared I’d lose my financial freedom if I didn’t have the same income. It’s true my finances would change.  But I was living in a state of fear anyway.  Everything in my life was different.  I couldn’t do my job, yoga, exercise, climb steps, walk, sit for a period of time, or sleep without pain.  Nothing in my life was the same.  So how much freedom was I really going to lose?

Anger, righteousness and denial were all pieces of this puzzle that it took me the next two years to unravel and let go of.  If I’m being honest, I held onto these far longer than I want to admit.  Truth was, I chose to stay – even when this company showed me who they were, and I knew it was out of alignment with who I was.  I wasn’t making the changes I needed to make, so the universe stepped in to assist, taking me out at the knees.

This is what happens.  If we’re not listening, the messages get louder.  The whispers become screams.  The intuitive hits aren’t so subtle anymore.  We repeat patterns by drawing in those exact people, circumstances and situations that will have us play out the exact message we’re refusing to see.   Whether it’s a relationship, a job, a boundary issue with someone you love, (or someone you don’t), or disconnection from a partner we’re refusing to see.  Solutions come out sideways.   Often, the choices would’ve been far easier to just make the change in the first place.

Embrace the conflict.

What’s one core belief you’ve had that hasn’t served you?   I’m curious how willing you are to hold onto that belief?  Is it serving you?   Holding on can be a form of resistance, denial, or anger, or a combination of these things.  Do you know your threshold on when it’s time to leave?

Today I invite you to look at your life objectively.

Is there something you need to change?   Is there a nagging little voice inside that isn’t going away?

Sending you big love as you walk the path of alignment,

Chris

xo

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