Change Your Closet, Change Your Life. A TEDx Talk to Share

I’m so excited to share this TEDx talk I found on YouTube:  Change Your Closet, Change Your Life. 

In the video below, Gillian Dunn talks about her own wake-up call when she went into her closet to get a candle that she was saving for a special occasion, only to find a big ball of blue wax inside the box.  The candle had done exactly what it was supposed to do – melt – but it did it without her.  This spurred an inner exploration that changed her life.

This video had me reflecting on how we live our lives in our own self-imposed chains. 

These chains show up as limiting beliefs, excuses, fear, worry and doubt.  These chains stop us from living the life we say we want.  We find ourselves saying, “I’ll do it when…. ____.” and “Someday I’ll …____.  Fill in your blank.  We need to consciously shift our mindset and behaviors if we want to truly change.

 

Change is messy, and not always easy.

The next morning after watching the video, I leapt out of bed to start my day. During the elimination process, my 15-year-old daughter asked me why she’d never seen all these ‘fashionable’ things! She started trying them on, claiming them for her own. 😉 In the end, I donated two large bags to my favorite non-profit, and it was just the catapult I needed to re-fuel my desire to live with less.

Here’s what I want you to do:  Take the next 15 minutes (and 37 seconds) to watch this Video, and then come back and answer this question: 

What’s one thing you’re willing to commit to this week to allow yourself to step into the life you want to live?

Maybe you’re willing to….

  • Have that ‘hard’ conversation that’s been lurking over you.
  • Clear your closet of items that don’t fit (to make room for things that do).
  • Use your “good dishes” or wear your “nice clothes.”
  • Donate your excess belongings to someone in need.
  • Express your needs to someone in a loving, compassionate way.
  • Set a boundary with yourself around what you’ll no longer tolerate.

No more putting things off until “Someday.”

Life is far too short to leave our most cherished belongings tucked away in a box, or our dreams hidden in the back of our minds.

Looking for a great cause to donate to?   Here’s a non-profit I LOVE:  Katelyn started this non-profit when she was just 12 years old after being on the receiving end of an outpouring of support when her family needed it.  Now, more than a decade later, The Angels Community Outreach supports thousands.   They’re located in Pitman NJ, you can contact them here.

 

By |2022-01-30T21:44:37-05:00January 30th, 2022|Uncategorized|2 Comments

Avoiding the spiral of mental chatter ♥

We did a street-long yard sale yesterday, and after the sale I noticed myself engaging in mental chatter about lost time.  I spent time prepping for it, organizing it, physically being at the sale, then packing up the remainders for the various charities that will receive them.  Then this morning, I woke with similar thoughts on how this sale took time away from other things that needed to happen, but thankfully, I shifted quickly.

Truth is, yes, it did take time, and, the items are gone, which was my goal.  Our intentions were to make this our last sale, to have fun with family and neighbors, and to let my daughter have a lemonade stand with her friend.  We released unneeded belongings, and created space for things and activities we do want!

So if my goals were met, why the constant inner banter about what I could’ve been doing instead of the sale?  Because my to-do list is reallllly long and my mind chatter never stops.  I desire order, ease, and simplicity.  Letting go brings me these things, and it also takes work for me to get them.  As much as I love to feel at ease, to have order, and for life to be simple, I need the structures in place to have those things.  I also need good boundaries around my time.

How about you?   Does your mental to-do list overwhelm you and stop you from achieving what you say you want to do?   How do you move forward when mental chatter is in overdrive?

Here’s 3 things to do when mental chatter is spinning you into overwhelm.

#1 Start…Something.  Pick one thing and just start.  It doesn’t have to be perfect, and it mostly won’t be, but the act of movement will motivate you to keep going.  This morning, I considered my mental list, wrote out all that I wanted to get done, then narrowed it down to what was most important, and what would feel most productive by simply being started.  I slotted myself a specific amount of time and when that time was up, I stopped and moved on with my day.  I’m putting time and attention to my priorities, which feels gratifying, energizing, and productive.

#2 Ask for help.  I woke this morning mentally listing out all that needs to happen today, and the reality is my husband will be gone all afternoon, so it’s all on me.  In order for me to accomplish everything we need to make our home happy today and this week, I need help.  So I asked.

#3 Receive the help.  This may sound silly and obvious, but sometimes we can ask for the help, then when it comes, we find we’re still doing all the work anyway.  Give up the need for things to be perfect, and allow the support to be there for you.   Example:   My husband was grabbing some raised beds from Home Depot for me while I worked this morning.  He texted me photos with questions, and I couldn’t decide which one was best, plus I needed netting and wasn’t sure which kind.  I almost told him, “Never mind; I’ll run out later and get it.”   I wasn’t trusting that what we’ll get is fine, and we’ll work with it.  Instead I was thinking I needed to physically go there to pick it out.  I quickly caught myself, and chose to receive the help, letting it be enough so I can move on with my priorities.

These three things can catapult you into action, and give you the space and ease you need to feel productive and less stressed.

Here’s the thing.   We, particularly as women, are often the bus drivers in our home.  We drive the bus.  We’re responsible to maintain the bus with gas, oil, repairs, etc.  We create the bus schedule, and we make sure all the riders get where they need to go, on time, and they have what they need upon arrival to their destination. That’s a lot to hold, and often we fall off our own schedule.

Today, when mental overwhelm takes over, try these three things of #1, starting one thing, #2, asking for help and #3, receiving the help.  If you’re like me, your list is longer than you can do in a physical day, yet your Superwoman cape is probably pressed and ready to go!  🙂   Use this as an invitation to start something, drop the cape, and ask for (and receive) help.   You’ll be surprised at what can happen.

A 4th bonus step is to find the gold in the event that has you spinning into overwhelm.   My gold nugget from the yard sale yesterday was meeting a tow truck driver who offered to look at my 20 year old car that runs awesome, but needs an AC unit.  After looking at it, he told me it looks like an easy fix, (where my mechanic told me it wasn’t worth fixing), it shouldn’t cost much, and he referred me to guy that’s local!   Gold!  ♥

How about you?  What’s one thing you’re going to do this week after reading this?   How are you going to use your spiral to inspire you, instead of sabotage you?   

Tell me below or get in touch here.  

Until next time, my friend, put a practice in place that allows you to push that overwhelm to the curb and just start what you don’t want to start.

x’s and o’s,

Chris

If you’re not on my list to receive resources on living a simpler life and want to be, please click here.    If you’ve already joined, thanks so much for the support!

P.S. Sharing is Caring – if you know someone who would benefit from reading this, please share!

By |2018-05-07T01:12:48-04:00May 6th, 2018|Uncategorized|0 Comments

Minimalism, Simplicity + Letting Go of Perfectionism

As I make my way toward minimalism, I’m still surprised how resistance shows up so big for me. For years my mantra has been, “Order, Ease, & Simplicity”, and in that order.   When I have order, it brings me ease, and when I have ease, my life is simple.

Sounds simple right?  It can be.   And yet, we complicate our lives more than we need to.

We hold on.   We resist.  We deny.  We blame someone or something else so we don’t have to look at our own stuff, our own issues.

Because here’s the deal.   Letting go isn’t about the thing, person, or situation we’re letting go of. It’s about the emotional attachment that the experience or memory has brought us –including difficult or negative memories.

Letting go is a process.

One of the most difficult things for me to let go of is books.   Especially books that my daughter and I have read together.  I can recall all our snuggles, cozying up for all our daily ritualistic reading times – wake-up reading, pre-nap reading, post-nap reading, bedtime reading, or just middle of the day reading.  I can still hear her little voice bursting out when we’d get to a specific page, and I can hear my own inflections as I read certain books.   I fantasize about reading those same books to her children when she’s older.

Maybe that will happen.  Maybe not.

Life can change in a split second.  We have little control over when we leave here or how.  I mean, we do. And we don’t.

In an attempt to keep life simple, I started a book buying ban in August, and created a Little Free Library.  I’ve wanted to create one of these libraries for years, and to keep me accountable with the lifestyle I want to live, the book ban felt necessary.

The perfectionist in me wants to tell you I have it all figured out, and I have this letting-go piece down.  That I can live as a pure minimalist with only what I need.  But that’s not true.   I, too, am in process.  I’m working my way there.  I have my own demons, resistance and challenges, just like you.

What is true is this:  I’ve learned to love and respect what I choose to keep.  I’ve learned to only keep what I love.  When adding something to my home or life, I’ve learned to ask myself if what I’m bringing in adds value, not just to my life, but to all of our lives that live in our home.  As far as resistance, I’ve learned to do one thing – just one thing – instead of letting my mind spin out of control when I feel overwhelmed with too much stuff, too much to do, or too many obligations.  I pause.  I do one thing that I CAN do, then another, then another -not 10 things at once.

What matters is substance, connection, relating deeply to those I love.   What I know for sure is clutter gets in the way.  Mental, emotional, and physical clutter blocks us from the very thing we say we want.  The funny thing about resistance is that it takes so much of our energy to resist, deny, not look at, or avoid something we need to do, or not do.

The truth is, if we channeled our energy into doing the very thing we’re resisting, we’d create more space, more openness, and more connection with ourselves, and those we love.

On this cold Sunday in December, after our first snowfall of the season, I’m going to honor my own resistance today and take control over what I can, which is planning my work week while my husband and daughter are enjoying some much needed daddy-daughter time.   How about you?  What’s one thing you can do today to honor yourself where you are?

Blessings to you!

xo

P.S.  If you’d like to follow my blog and receive my newsletter on simplifying, letting go and creating more ease, you can do that here .  

By |2018-01-07T01:58:56-05:00December 10th, 2017|Uncategorized|0 Comments

Soul Space Decluttering

Soul Space…

Spaces where you find what you want when you want it.

Where you have what you need at your fingertips.

Space to think, to be, to feel, to connect.

To feel alive, to breathe deeply, have restful sleep, connect with yourself, and those you love.

To realign with what matters most…

Three of my core values are for Order, Ease and Simplicity.

When those needs are met, I’m calm, present, connected. I’m aligned.  It’s easy to  follow through on commitments, take action toward what I want, to say yes when I mean yes, and no when I mean no when my actions are internally aligned with my values and needs.

One way for us to stay aligned is to consistently reevaluate what we keep.

So yesterday I did a challenge (Link at end) to Declutter 100 items in less than an hour.   The intent of this challenge is to set your timer for 60 minutes and go room to room gathering 10 items, 20 items etc, from each space until you have 100.   You don’t stop until the timer goes off, or until you have 100.

I didn’t do it the same way as recommended, not by design totally.  My somewhat OCD self – not really, but kinda – needed to have order amidst the self-induced clutter clearing challenge.

I started in my kitchen.   And stayed there for 60 minutes.  I cleaned, wiped, and organized as I decluttered – not part of the challenge.  When the timer went off, I wasn’t done, nor did I have 100 items.  So I set it for another 30 minutes, and this time stopped cleaning, organizing and wiping, kinda.  I really am “Monica” from Friends, so it’s my own niche to clean, sort & organize as I go.   But I did make it out of my kitchen, and into my bathroom.   This time, when the timer went off, I had 160 items total and I even managed to find two missing items that had fallen underneath a drawer and were laying at the bottom of a cabinet.   So 90 minutes, 160 items, not too bad.  Still, I’ll redo the challenge and do it as designed.

There’s two lessons here: 1) it’s so easy to throw ourselves off track, and 2) it’s just as easy to bring us back when we have focus, awareness and intention.

Ease.  Order.  Simplicity.  Life isn’t always easy, orderly, and it’s certainly not always simple.   Which is why it’s critical to create soul spaces in your home, and habits.  Self-care, yoga, working out, eating well – whatever it is that nurtures you and keeps you feeling connected and alive – that’s what needs to be in your daily rituals.

So where do you need to create more space?  Is there a certain room?  A certain spot within a room?  Maybe a specific relationship needs a clear boundary in place?  Maybe your mind wishes for quiet so you can actually hear your own thoughts and inner desires?  What’s on your wish list?  Your #50Desires?

Does this sound fun to you?   The idea is to create incentive to let go, and to have fun in the process.  Hop on over to https://bemorewithless.com/decluttering-burst/ for Courtney Carver’s Declutter 100 Items in Less than an Hour Challenge.  Let me know what happened for you.  🙂 #bemorewithless, #100DeclutterChallenge.

Enjoy the process.  Life’s too short to stress over our stuff.  Learn to let it go!

Sending love,

 

Chris

xo

By |2017-08-20T17:37:09-04:00August 20th, 2017|Uncategorized|0 Comments

Are you resisting the flow? Or riding waves with ease?

I wasn’t in the flow today.

I’m not sure what tipped me off first – the guy abruptly backing into my car while I waited at the stop sign,  or my windshield wiper flying off as I drove down the Black Horse Pike – in the rain.  But I was definitely NOT in the flow, and felt my day spiraling into chaos.

Maybe it was the meltdown that came before I left my house after getting an upsetting call, reminding me of the conflict I feel about a decision that must be made, soon.  Or being woken up by outrageously loud saws, music and voices coming from my next door neighbors roof as men installed fascia on his home.   Or when my vacuum cleaner spit OUT the items it was supposed to be taking in.  Maybe it was when the water spilled all over the paperwork I needed to take with me when I left the house.    Or the torrential rain and winds that took down a tree near my house, causing me to drive down a different street, placing me at that stop sign so the kind gentleman could smash into me in the first place.

Yeah, it was all of that.  One after another, things were happening, reminding me to stop.  To slow down.  To pause, and feel the emotions  flooding through me.

I knew it was time to get quiet.

But my intention was clear when I woke up.  We were driving to North Jersey to see the documentary, Vaxxed.   “My plan” was to get out of the house – despite the prediction of rain later in the day, despite my car needing to be dropped off for service, despite seeing unfinished signs to be made for a yard sale, despite dishes in my sink, despite my printer needing fixing so I can get it to scan, despite my home needing attention, and “me” needing attention.

I wanted to stick with “the plan”. 

But my daughter wasn’t embracing spending a chunk of the day in the car, which would’ve been the case.   Honoring her needs as well as mine is a core value to me.   So I amended the plan.  But I didn’t really want to.  I was all in my head thinking how important this film is, and how we can only make change if we all see the facts.  I’ve seen the film in NY but my daughter hasn’t.   My real resistance to cancelling our plans though had little to do with the actual film, and more to do with the mayhem I felt inside.  I needed order, and going with the plan allowed me to feel in control – of  something.

Here’s the truth.

Our “plan” really has no place in our day.  We can plan, sure.   And, we need to be aware, (for me, much more quickly), when our plans need amending.  It was one of those days – I wanted to do what I intended, and I didn’t feel like being flexible.

How many times have you had days like this?  Where things weren’t lining up the way you wanted, where you were resisting, and received constant blocks trying to redirect you?  What will you do next time this happens?

I know what I’ll do.  I’ll get on my yoga mat and meditate.  Or  write.  Or breathe.  Or cry.   Or all of those.

zen place

There’s a time to plow through and stick with the plan, and there’s a time to allow things to unfold naturally.  When those blocks come, it’s a reminder to slow down, to pause.

It’s not time to plow – it’s time to allow.

Because sometimes we need to allow stuff to move through us before it can leave us.

I’d love to hear what you do when this happens for you.   How do you reset yourself?  How do you tune back in?  I often will organize or clear clutter, but that just wasn’t in my energetic field today.   The universe had other plans.

Leave a comment below, and if this helped you, please share it!

With love and blessings,

Chris

 

By |2017-04-22T19:37:36-04:00June 8th, 2016|Holistic Health, Intuition|0 Comments
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