Minimalism, Simplicity + Letting Go of Perfectionism
As I make my way toward minimalism, I’m still surprised how resistance shows up so big for me. For years my mantra has been, “Order, Ease, & Simplicity”, and in that order. When I have order, it brings me ease, and when I have ease, my life is simple.
Sounds simple right? It can be. And yet, we complicate our lives more than we need to.
We hold on. We resist. We deny. We blame someone or something else so we don’t have to look at our own stuff, our own issues.
Because here’s the deal. Letting go isn’t about the thing, person, or situation we’re letting go of. It’s about the emotional attachment that the experience or memory has brought us –including difficult or negative memories.
Letting go is a process.
One of the most difficult things for me to let go of is books. Especially books that my daughter and I have read together. I can recall all our snuggles, cozying up for all our daily ritualistic reading times – wake-up reading, pre-nap reading, post-nap reading, bedtime reading, or just middle of the day reading. I can still hear her little voice bursting out when we’d get to a specific page, and I can hear my own inflections as I read certain books. I fantasize about reading those same books to her children when she’s older.
Maybe that will happen. Maybe not.
Life can change in a split second. We have little control over when we leave here or how. I mean, we do. And we don’t.
In an attempt to keep life simple, I started a book buying ban in August, and created a Little Free Library. I’ve wanted to create one of these libraries for years, and to keep me accountable with the lifestyle I want to live, the book ban felt necessary.
The perfectionist in me wants to tell you I have it all figured out, and I have this letting-go piece down. That I can live as a pure minimalist with only what I need. But that’s not true. I, too, am in process. I’m working my way there. I have my own demons, resistance and challenges, just like you.
What is true is this: I’ve learned to love and respect what I choose to keep. I’ve learned to only keep what I love. When adding something to my home or life, I’ve learned to ask myself if what I’m bringing in adds value, not just to my life, but to all of our lives that live in our home. As far as resistance, I’ve learned to do one thing – just one thing – instead of letting my mind spin out of control when I feel overwhelmed with too much stuff, too much to do, or too many obligations. I pause. I do one thing that I CAN do, then another, then another -not 10 things at once.
What matters is substance, connection, relating deeply to those I love. What I know for sure is clutter gets in the way. Mental, emotional, and physical clutter blocks us from the very thing we say we want. The funny thing about resistance is that it takes so much of our energy to resist, deny, not look at, or avoid something we need to do, or not do.
The truth is, if we channeled our energy into doing the very thing we’re resisting, we’d create more space, more openness, and more connection with ourselves, and those we love.
On this cold Sunday in December, after our first snowfall of the season, I’m going to honor my own resistance today and take control over what I can, which is planning my work week while my husband and daughter are enjoying some much needed daddy-daughter time. How about you? What’s one thing you can do today to honor yourself where you are?
Blessings to you!
xo
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